Missing
by ardhrianna
Summary: **NOW COMPLETE** Yugi and Yami Bakura end up stuck... somewhere. Will there be bloodshed? Tears? Threats? *shrugs* Hey, don't look at me - I'm just the author! Be prepared for weirdness and more than a few hints of yaoi (slash).
1. Chapter 1

MISSING  
  
***** Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke.  
  
/end boring legal junk  
  
I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. How amusing. ( It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. Work with me here.  
  
Okay, I haven't seen the episode where Bakura ends up in the Millennium Puzzle, and I'm not even quite sure how it happens, but it works with this fic, so go with it, mkay? We'll all get along so much better if you just smile and nod and read. And hopefully enjoy. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. This is the start of it.  
  
*****  
  
Missing - chapter 1  
  
  
  
"This is all your fault."  
  
"What? How?"  
  
"I don't know yet. But somehow, this is all your fault."  
  
A scoff. "Oh, right. It was my fault that YOUR other half decided to do some housekeeping."  
  
"It's YOUR fault you were in there in the first place! And if you hadn't antagonized him, maybe he wouldn't have housecleaned! Or, Puzzle-cleaned, whichever."  
  
"Well."  
  
"This is getting us nowhere."  
  
"Brilliant observation. Is that what you go to high school for?"  
  
"Keep it up and I'm leaving you here," Yugi threatened. "Well, wherever 'here' is. Anything look familiar to you?"  
  
"Do I look like I have all the answers?"  
  
"You're talking like you do!"  
  
"The light's too dim to see much of anything . So I'll have to say no, I've never been here before. This doesn't really look like the Shadow Realm."  
  
"If it was, I should still be able to talk to Yami. And I can't hear him anymore."  
  
"Well, that could have something to do with what you're *not* wearing."  
  
"WHAT!" Yugi instinctively moved his hands and Yami Bakura rolled his eyes.  
  
"Pervert. Pharaoh will kill me if I so much as look at you. Anyways, you know that big gold puzzle thing you wear around your neck? That ugly old thing I've been TRAPPED in? It's missing."  
  
"I hadn't noticed."  
  
"You're such a freak," Yami Bakura said matter-of-factly. "And a pervert. That other half of yours has been a bad influence."  
  
"Keep it up and I *will* let Yami beat the shit out of you when I see him again."  
  
"Like the Pharaoh scares me."  
  
"He should when he has the Dark Magician backing him up. A Dark Magician that doesn't particularly like you."  
  
"And how would you know this?"  
  
"Yami told me."  
  
"And he knows everything, does he?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Yami Bakura sighed. This was starting to drive him insane. Well, more so than he already was. If Yugi kept this up, he'd be as crazy as Malik by the time they got out of this place. But he made a mental note to himself anyway - **Yami Yugi will kill me if I try anything. And when did this turn into Lord of the Rings?** (AN: LOTR fanfic fans will understand that one. hee!)  
  
"Oh, bugger off," he finally sighed before cursing creatively in Egyptian. "Damnit, I've been spending too much time with Ryou."  
  
"You say it like it's a bad thing!"  
  
"He's weak! And girly."  
  
"And fuckable."  
  
"And fuck-what? No way! I'm not saying it!"  
  
But it was too late and Yugi was nearly on the floor laughing. "I GOT YOU TO SAY IT!"  
  
"DID NOT!"  
  
"DID TOO DID TOO DID TOO! I got you to admit you want him!"  
  
"I do not. Evil child."  
  
Mock hurt. "Whatever. And it isn't MY fault I'm not in the Ring!"  
  
"And back we go to the beginning. Okay, okay, it's not your fault we're here."  
  
"Finally!"  
  
"Shut up. Now that we have decided that it's not your fault-"  
  
"We?"  
  
Yugi glared and Yami Bakura shut up.  
  
"Yes. WE. Now that we have decided this isn't your fault, what are we going to do?"  
  
Yami Bakura sat down on the floor (well, he thought it was a floor) and sighed. "I don't have a clue."  
  
"Wonderful." Yugi joined Yami Bakura on the floor. "So we're stuck here until the others find us. Can this day get any better?"  
  
What little light there was suddenly went out.  
  
"I meant it rhetorically!"  
  
/END 


	2. Chapter 2

*****  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke.  
  
/end boring legal junk  
  
I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. Okay, I haven't seen the episode where Bakura ends up in the Millennium Puzzle, and I'm not even quite sure how it happens, but it works with this fic, so go with it, mkay? We'll all get along so much better if you just smile and nod and read. And hopefully enjoy. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well.  
  
This story will switch POVs, I guess (although it's not written in first- person, so it's not really a POV). I guess focus would be a better word. Chapter 1 was Yugi and Yami Bakura (who will henceforth be known as "Bakura" simply because Yami Yugi is "Yami" and I have dubbed Yami Malik "Marik" (I refuse to call Malik Ishtar "Marik" simply because the dub says so. I like Malik much better.) Confused yet? Good! Onward with the fic then.  
  
*****  
  
MISSING - CHAPTER 2 (or, "Enter the Pharaoh")  
  
  
  
Ryou Bakura decided that maybe he didn't have it so bad after all.  
  
"CURSE IT ALL I HATE THIS WORLD AND I WANT IT TO DIE!"  
  
No, he definitely had it good. At least Yami Bakura didn't pace the living room, cursing when he'd screwed up a spell. Not like Yami Yugi was doing now.  
  
"You're making me dizzy," Malik complained from his spot beside Ryou on the couch.  
  
"EVIL STUPID BAKA TOMB ROBBER PROBABLY DID THIS ON PURPOSE.TAKING MY HIKARI AWAY FROM ME AND CLOSING THE LINK."  
  
Ryou and Malik sighed as one. They'd been trying to tell Yami for hours that it wasn't Bakura's fault that he and Yugi were currently missing. But the former Pharaoh was having none of their explanations, instead choosing to believe that somehow, this was Bakura's fault. Ryou shook his head. Yeah, it was Bakura's fault that Yami decided to do a spell he barely remembered in order to get rid of a tomb robber who'd moved in to the Millennium Puzzle quite by accident. And, in the process of doing the spell, both Yami and Ryou had lost their mental links with their other halves. Which made Yami very, very, very cranky and Ryou somewhat amused.  
  
"Maybe it's a good thing," Malik said quietly in Ryou's ear, "maybe now Yugi will get some peace of mind! Yami and Yami Bakura won't be fighting in his head all the time anymore."  
  
"True," Ryou whispered back. "There is an upside to this."  
  
"BAKA TOMB ROBBER I'M GOING TO KILL HIM." Yami continued ranting, ignoring the boys whispering on the couch.  
  
"Pharaoh, shut up!" Marik bellowed from upstairs, where he'd retreated after an hour of listening to Yami's ranting.  
  
"MY YUGI IS MISSING AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO SHUT UP!" Yami screamed at the top of his voice, causing Ryou and Malik to cover their ears.  
  
"YES I AM!" Marik screamed back, appearing at the top of the stairs in all his loony glory. "I sat with Ryou and my other half for an hour and listened to you rant. Then I went upstairs to escape your ranting and I can STILL HEAR YOU!"  
  
Yami blinked. "So?"  
  
"SO? SO? RA-BE-DAMNED IDIOT PHARAOH!" Marik roared. Malik and Ryou hid *under* the couch. "I am sick of listening to your voice! You're as bad as Tea! I swear to Ra, if your Dark Magician wouldn't kick my ass, I'd banish you to the Shadow Realm right now!!"  
  
Yami smiled smugly. "He doesn't like you."  
  
"Yeah, well the feeling's mutual."  
  
"Marik?" Malik ventured, lavender eyes peering out from under the couch.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why not just kick the Dark Magician's ass with The Winged Dragon of Ra?"  
  
Marik paused. "Oh, I like that thought."  
  
"Go back upstairs and think about it, okay?" Malik said to his other half, fighting the urge to laugh when Marik actually obeyed, smiling dreamily.  
  
"That worked well," Ryou said to Malik.  
  
"Better than I thought, actually."  
  
"I should try that on Bakura sometime. Think you can lend me one of those God cards of yours?"  
  
"Are you two QUITE finished?" Yami broke in, standing in front of them and impatiently tapping his foot. "My hikari is missing here!"  
  
"And my yami is also missing," said Ryou tiredly, dragging himself out from his hiding place and turning to offer Malik a hand. "And we can't contact them through our respective links. There's nothing we can do."  
  
"I'll kill him if he tries anything with Yugi."  
  
Malik blinked. When did this turn into Lord of the Rings?  
  
"Bakura didn't do this on purpose, Yami," Ryou tried to soothe the Pharaoh.  
  
"How do you know?" Yami glared. "It would be just like him to screw up another plan of mine!"  
  
"But why would he?" Malik asked reasonably. "You know as well as anyone that he hates the Puzzle."  
  
"Right. So why would he screw up a plan to get him *out* of the thing he hates?"  
  
"To annoy me!" And Yami was off again. Ryou and Malik exchanged looks and sighed. Having a loony yami was far better than having one that blamed everyone but himself.  
  
***** 


	3. Chapter 3

*****  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke.  
  
/end boring legal junk  
  
I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. Okay, I haven't seen the episode where Bakura ends up in the Millennium Puzzle, and I'm not even quite sure how it happens, but it works with this fic, so go with it, mkay? We'll all get along so much better if you just smile and nod and read. And hopefully enjoy. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her.  
  
Back to Yugi and Bakura! *evil grin* Read, review and make insanepeople (dotnet!) happy.  
  
*****  
  
MISSING - CHAPTER 3  
  
Sitting in the dark with the Pharaoh's light wasn't exactly what Bakura had on his list of things to do today. Or any other day, for that matter.  
  
"I really don't like the dark," Yugi said, voice trembling a bit. Bakura raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You don't like dark? Explain your yami then."  
  
"That's not what I meant and you know it." Bakura could feel Yugi's glare even in the darkness. "Baka tomb robber."  
  
"You've been spending too much time with your yami," Bakura sighed. "And he's been spending too much time with your friends. They're teaching him bad things."  
  
Yugi snickered. "What, does being called a 'baka tomb robber' bother you?"  
  
"Idiot."  
  
"Baka tomb robber!"  
  
"That's your new favorite expression, isn't it?" Bakura shook his head.  
  
"Well, what else can I call you? You're stupid, and you're a tomb robber. If the shoe fits."  
  
"I'm going to rip your foot off so the shoe will never fit again if you keep this up."  
  
"Try it and Yami'll kill you!"  
  
"I'm willing to face Pharaoh's wrath if it means I'll shut you up!"  
  
"Meep!" Yugi exclaimed, scuttling sideways and falling over as he tripped over his own two feet. "Ow."  
  
"Baka hikari," Bakura laughed and Yugi responded with a comment that would have had his grandfather washing his mouth out with soap, followed by a good scolding from Yami. Bakura only laughed harder. "Oh, I don't think that's physically possible. But you're welcome to try. I might actually enjoy it."  
  
Bakura felt, rather than saw, Yugi's shocked look before the boy got a hold of himself. Not literally, of course. Although Bakura wouldn't have minded seeing that, either. "You're a bastard, you know that, right?"  
  
"Bastard is my middle name. Following right behind Evil. Get used to it, kid."  
  
"Not a kid," Yugi muttered, sounding pouty. "Everyone keeps looking at me like a little kid and I'm not! I'm almost an adult!"  
  
Bakura rolled his eyes. "Actually, you are a little kid," he pointed out helpfully. "You're short."  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Oh, I found a sensitive spot. Let's see what else I can find!" Bakura cackled evilly. "You're short, for one. And you look like you're five. Even Mokuba Kaiba looks older than you!"  
  
"Keep talking and I will rip your tongue out and feed it to you via your ass."  
  
Bakura laughed, more at Yugi's sudden directness than actual humor at the situation. "Been there, done that. Rather liked it, in fact."  
  
"Geep!"  
  
"You really are innocent, aren't you? A little innocent whose big bad yami has to protect him from all the evils of the world."  
  
"Shut up shut up!"  
  
"What, don't you want to be educated? Isn't that why you go to school?"  
  
"Yami will rip your. " Yugi paused and Bakura just knew he was blushing. "Yamiwillripyourdickoffandmakeyoueatitifheeverfindsoutabotuthis."  
  
"Really. I'd love to see him try. And I might actually like that, too. I thought this was about punishing me?" Bakura taunted, knowing without seeing that Yugi's face was bright red as he tried not to get mental images. Then Yugi made a soft growling sound deep in his throat before suddenly freezing. There came the sound of footsteps in the darkness and Bakura felt Yugi start to tremble.  
  
Two things happened at once - Bakura ended up with a lapful of Yugi and the lights suddenly came back on, revealing a very pissed off Dark Magician standing in front of them.  
  
"Oh, shit," two voices chorused. 


	4. Chapter 4

*****  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. /end boring legal junk  
  
I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her.  
  
Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing! I'm glad you guys are enjoying my crack!fic. It's fun to write, and I'm happy that someone else is enjoying the fruits of my um. labour? Whatever it is, it's FUN! *hands out crack* Here, have some. *hands out cans of Coke* And sniff coke, too. Really freak your friends and family out. "Look, Ma, I'm sniffing Coke!" *sniff Coke can*. Trust me, it works. :)  
  
Back to Ryou, Malik, Marik and Yami! Oh, and my best friend hates me, although she made it into this fic! Probably not the way she wanted to, but she did! And she'll never tell me her secrets *ever* again I'm sure, but it makes for a helluva plot device!  
  
*****  
  
Missing - 4  
  
  
  
Yami finally stopped ranting and cursing Bakura long enough to sit down. In the past four hours, he'd gone through every language known to man, and then he'd taken to ranting in tongues long dead. Made for an interesting rant, perhaps, but indecipherable. Perhaps it was for the best.  
  
"Finally," Ryou sighed to himself, sinking into the couch opposite the former Pharaoh and closing his eyes. Malik, meanwhile, turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels, looking for something to watch. Stopping on "The Mummy" and turning the volume up to a barely tolerable level, he settled against Ryou's shoulder to watch the movie. Ryou looked down at him. "Comfortable?"  
  
"Very. Now be quiet so I can watch the movie!" Malik ordered, poking Ryou in the side and causing the white-haired boy to giggle. Yami raised an eyebrow at them, but stayed silent.  
  
"How can you watch this?" Ryou asked after a while, averting his eyes as yet another character was skewered. "I mean, it's not even accurate!"  
  
"How would you know?" Yami pointed out. "Even your other half doesn't remember everything about his time in Egypt!"  
  
"Neither does Marik," added Malik, never taking his eyes from the screen, "but I watch it anyways. It's *entertainment*, Ryou."  
  
"If you say so." Shifting so that Malik's head was resting more squarely against his shoulder, Ryou closed his eyes and prepared to snooze while the other boy happily watched his horribly subtitled movie.  
  
Yami interrupted the content silence. "Um, Malik."  
  
"What, Yami?"  
  
"Where's your other half?"  
  
Malik didn't even bother looking over at Yami. "Upstairs. Where he's been for hours."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Reasonably. Why?"  
  
"It's too quiet."  
  
"He could say the same for you," Ryou broke in, not opening his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, well. It's *too* quiet."  
  
"Fine, fine," sighed Malik. "I'll go check on him." Disentangling himself from Ryou and glancing at the screen almost wistfully, Malik disappeared upstairs. Yami grinned.  
  
"You want me all to yourself, Yami?" Ryou said, opening one eye. "Neat trick you did there, getting rid of Malik like that." Then he closed his eye again, bored.  
  
"You're sick, Ryou."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You're starting to sound like Bakura. Evil bastard."  
  
"Both Bakura and I are taller than you are, Pharaoh, and I have a friend who would happily kick your ass. Watch it."  
  
"The Dark Magician will kill you if you try anything. You know this, right?" Yami sounded smug.  
  
"Whatever." Ryou wasn't the least bit concerned and, in fact, still had his eyes closed. "Now let me sleep."  
  
"You *are* spending too much time with your yami." Yami sounded amused. "It's amusing."  
  
"Glad I can entertain you."  
  
The sound of shouting came from upstairs and Malik suddenly came tearing downstairs, shrieking like a little girl.  
  
"What's wrong?" Ryou demanded, opening his eyes and jumping up in panic.  
  
"I. I heard noises coming from Marik's room and so I went in and asked what was going on and he was sleeping but when I asked him he sat up and in bed and shouted "I'M A LIBRARIAN!" at me! He scared me!"  
  
Yami snickered. "Someone's seen this before."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That was the line. she's drunk and she's proud of the fact that she's a librarian."  
  
"Japanese subtitles?" Malik said, cocking his head to one side and looking, to Ryou anyway, adorably confused.  
  
"The movie, idiot. You have seen the movie before, right? And you're not as stupid as you come across as being?"  
  
"Marik and I have The Winged Dragon of Ra, Yami," Malik said, eyes narrowing. "And we will kick your ass."  
  
"With all this ass-kicking, who's going to find Yugi and Bakura?" Marik interrupted, slipping into the room with a yawn. "Ryou wants to kick Yami's ass, who will then get his Dark Magician to kick his ass, and then Malik and I will get our Winged Dragon to kick the Dark Magician's ass, and then he'll kick Yami's ass. So who's left to find our missing members?"  
  
Ryou and Malik both snickered. "Speak for yourself, Marik," his other half teased. "You lose your *Rod*?" Yami's mouth dropped open in shock and Marik turned bright red.  
  
"I wish I had a camera!" Ryou laughed. "Bakura would love this -- Yami's speechless and Marik's BLUSHING!"  
  
"Shut up," Marik and Yami both said.  
  
"Missing your Rod!" Malik shrieked, falling back onto the couch and laughing his ass off. Ryou fell on the floor, tears streaming down his face.  
  
Marik looked at Yami. "If I summon The Winged Dragon of Ra."  
  
"And I summon the Dark Magician."  
  
"Do you think we can get them to shut up?"  
  
"We can try."  
  
Ryou was the first to notice the twin evil grins. "Um, Yami." he said nervously. "What are you doing? Marik? Yami? Put those card away. Yami. Marik, put the Rod away. Yami. MARIK!"  
  
Yami and Marik discovered that Ryou and Malik both screamed like little girls. 


	5. Chapter 5

*****  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. /end boring legal junk  
  
I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. She thankfully avoids getting into this chapter, but NEXT chapter. *evil grin* It's a doozy- believe me! But you'll have to wait and see!  
  
ff.net people, *thank you* for reviewing! I'm glad you guys are liking this! I'm having a blast writing it and it's great to hear that you guys are enjoying it. Keep reading, please!  
  
Summary for this chapter: Bakura and Yugi and. the Dark Magician?  
  
*****  
  
MISSING - 5  
  
  
  
"Please don't tell me I see that," Bakura muttered, hiding his face behind Yugi's hair and unconsciously imitating Tweety Bird. "I tawt I saw a Dark Magician!"  
  
"You did," Yugi said, turning slightly in Bakura's lap to face the spirit. "Um, at least I think it's him."  
  
"A tall guy in purple amour with blue eyes? Who currently looks like nothing would please him more than to kick my ass from here to the Shadow Realm? Who else would it be?"  
  
Yugi laughed. "He doesn't like you."  
  
"I guessed that for myself, thanks."  
  
"Baka tomb robber!"  
  
"Idiot hikari!"  
  
Yugi was suddenly and almost violently pulled out of Bakura's arms by the Dark Magician, who shoved the boy behind him and glared at Bakura.  
  
"What?" Bakura exclaimed. "I'm not going to do anything! You'll kick my ass!"  
  
The Dark Magician nodded before swiveling his head to look at the boy behind him. Who was currently examining the. behind of him.  
  
"Hey, the armor goes all the way around his body!" Yugi's voice came from somewhere behind the purple-clad man. "And it fits nicely."  
  
"YUGI!" Bakura shouted. "Does Yami know you think like that?"  
  
"Okay, maybe Yami doesn't know everything," admitted Yugi, head appearing under one of the Dark Magician's arms before it disappeared again, followed by admiring sounds. The Dark Magician stood patiently, his face red, while his young Master studied every inch of him. And felt quite a few inches while he was at it. "I like him. Can I keep him?"  
  
"Yugi. he's a monster-" Bakura paused when he saw the look the card was giving him, "-okay, a card. You own him-it-whatever!" The spirit shook his head. "Why couldn't I have been trapped in here with *Malik* or *Marik*? At least they're normal! And they don't walk around with. hey! Yugi! How'd he get here?"  
  
The boy was silent for a moment before, "how am I supposed to know? The lights went out and when they came back on, I was in your lap and there he was."  
  
"Okay, so how did you get here?" Bakura said to the Dark Magician who only pointed at Yugi, who had now begun exploring the front of his favorite card's body. And a certain part of the Dark Magician currently held Yugi's fascination, as it was just the right height. "Okay, I didn't need to see that."  
  
"Who knew cards came equipped?"  
  
"Yugi!" Bakura buried his face in his hands, fighting his own blush. Well, it was clear that nobody had to worry about someone molesting the boy, but who was going to stop the boy from molesting *them*?  
  
"What! I've always wondered if. well, if the outfit looked as good in person as it does on the card. Kaiba's holographic technology helped a bit, but this is the real thing, Bakura! Now I don't mind being stuck here so much!"  
  
Bakura's face was still hidden and the Dark Magician sighed, fighting the urge to swat the boy's wandering hands as Yugi now had a hold of his staff. (AN: and OH that sounds bad! Almost as bad as the Malik/Rod jokes.)  
  
"Yugi, I think your yami and I are going to have a talk when we get home about protecting a hikari's innocence!"  
  
"Yeah, like you protect Ryou's innocence! You probably let him watch gay porn and read slash fanfic."  
  
Bakura gaped. How could Yugi have known that?  
  
"And his favorite show is probably "Queer as Folk" and you both probably secretly love watching anime because the characters are all either so girly, or so buff, and. Bakura? Feel free to stop me when I'm wrong."  
  
The Dark Magician removed Yugi's hands from his staff, only to have the boy's hands begin exploring his over-tunic. Or more specifically, what was *under* the over-tunic.  
  
"Yugi, stop molesting the Dark Magician," Bakura finally said, pulling Yugi away from the man. "Before you scar him for life. And he still hasn't explained how he got here." The card again pointed at Yugi, who only looked confused before his face brightened.  
  
"OH! Wait! Before we ended up here!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yami and I were dueling! And I had the Dark Magician in my hand! Then something distracted us and I put him in my pocket!"  
  
"So that's a card in your pocket and you're not happy to see me? Or him?" Bakura teased. Yugi turned bright red and the spirit blinked. "You've spent the last however long molesting the Dark Magician and now you're BLUSHING at a joke? You're a paradox, Yugi. I'm glad Pharaoh's stuck with you and not me!"  
  
"Oh, shut up. Baka tomb robber."  
  
"Idiot, innocent hikari." Then Bakura looked over at the still slightly pink Dark Magician and amended his statement. "Okay, idiot not-so-innocent hikari."  
  
Yugi bounced excitedly next to him. "You think he'll let me see what's under the armor?"  
  
"REALLY not-so-innocent hikari. Pharaoh, you and I are going to have a *long* talk. After we get your Dark Magician out of therapy." 


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke.   
/end boring legal junk 

DEDICATION: For Kris, my beloved, nasty elfslut. :) She made it into this fic! Probably not the way she wanted to, but she did! And she'll never tell me her secrets *ever* again I'm sure, but it makes for a helluva plot device! 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE, PART 2: I got Kris' permission this time to use our conversation in this fic, although I don't think her sister will ever forgive me if she reads this! I promised you guys a doozy, didn't I? I'm ashamed to say that Ryou's dream, for the most part, actually was dreamed by a friend-of-a-friend. Yeah, no more crack for HER before bedtime! 

Summary for this chapter: Ryou has a really fucked-up dream.

***** Missing  
Chapter 6 ***** 

After Yami and Marik sent their respective monsters back to the Shadow Realm, and after Ryou and Malik had a good screaming fit at the spirits, the four of them settled in for a rest. Marik returned upstairs while Yami collapsed on the floor in front of the television. 

"Ow," he said after falling rather ungracefully in a heap. 

"Then don't do it," Ryou said reasonably, stretching out on the couch. Malik wandered upstairs, presumably to find his yami. Snuggling happily down into the comfortable leather of the couch, Ryou dozed off. 

*** 

_Frodo Bakura_ (**well, that doesn't sound right,** Ryou thought) _looked down at the creature before him. "Yugi Gollum," the white-haired hobbit said, "you must lead us on this quest." _

Ryou was confused. Yugi Gollum? And Frodo Bakura? What about this dream didn't seem right? 

_"What quest is that, Master?" Yugi Gollum asked._

(**Yugi, calling my other half "Master"? Yeah, like that will ever happen!**) 

_"We must destroy THIS!" Frodo Bakura held up an object. _

**Wait!** Ryou's mind screamed, **that looks like…" 

_"What IS that, Master?" _

"It is the One Chicken! Also known as Yami." 

Ryou cracked up. **The One Chicken? O-kay… no more movies before sleeping.** 

_"You need people of intelligence on this mission… quest… THING!" a voice called. "We're coming, too!" _

"Yeah me and my Rod!" 

**Malik Brandybuck and Marik Took,** Ryou sighed. **What is going ON?** 

_"We must destroy the One Chicken by casting it into the waters of the Washing Machine, thereby destroying the power of Sauron Magician!" _

Gasps greeted his words. "Sauron Magician…" 

"I've heard stories about him," Marik Took said, voice quivering. "They say he's scary!" 

"Scarier than anything you've ever seen," Frodo Bakura told him. 

**I've seen Bakura first thing in the morning,** Ryou thought to himself, **nothing is scarier than THAT.** 

_"But how will we get to the Washing Machine?" Malik Brandybuck asked. _

"We'll have to take the long road through… the living room! It's said that a creature named Ryou lives there." 

**Hey, how'd I end up in this dream?** 

_"But… I do not wish to take that path," protested Yugi Gollum. Yami-Chicken tugged on the leash currently being held by Frodo Bakura, as if agreeing with Yugi Gollum. _

"Stop pulling my chain," Frodo Bakura said to Yami-Chicken. Yami-Chicken pouted. "And stop pouting. I'm not giving you back to Sauron Magician. You're mine now!" 

"My precious…" Yugi Gollum hissed to himself. "We shall feed wicked Frodo Bakura to the Orcses, yes…. They know what to do with wicked people! They taught us long ago, yes they did, precious…" 

"Come, Yugi Gollum. You must lead us." Frodo Bakura pointed down the path, which suddenly turned into the hallway leading from the kitchen to the living room. Yugi Gollum began leading the small company into the darkness, although Marik Took kept stopping every few feet to look in his pants, checking to see if he had a Rod. 

"Stop it or I will remove your Rod myself," Frodo Bakura threatened finally, dragging Marik Took up to walk beside him. Marik Took pouted, but followed behind, ignoring the snickering of Malik Brandybuck behind him. 

The Washing Machine came in sight after what felt like the longest walk down a single hallway in history, but their way was blocked by… 

"Sauron Magician!" Frodo Bakura shouted. 

**Oh my GOD…** 

_"Step away from the Washing Machine" Two figures appeared from behind Sauron Magician, both clad in floor-length tutus, tap shoes clicking on the floor. _

"We are the Orc protectors of the Washing Machine and it's master, Sauron Magician!" said one, who looked suspiciously like Seto Kaiba. 

**The tutu-clad Sauron Magician,** Ryou thought wryly. **I will never be able to watch Yugi or Yami duel again!** 

_"You can come no further!" shouted the other 'Orc', who resembled Joey more than a little bit. "We will stop you from completing this quest!" _

"In your dreams!" shouted Frodo Bakura, taking his eyes of Yugi Gollum for a brief second to glare at the 'Orcs'. 

"My precious!" Yugi Gollum screeched, taking advantage of the distraction and flinging himself at Frodo Bakura who went down in a heap, still clutching the leash of Yami-Chicken. 

"GET OFF!" Frodo Bakura shouted, fighting Yugi Gollum for possession of Yami-Chicken's leash. Sauron Magician wandered away from the scene, black tap shoes making pretty sounds as he walked. Joey and Kaiba Orcs followed their master, shoes making the same sounds. 

**I will never be able to look at them again... Tap dancing Orcs and Dark Magicians!** 

_Frodo Bakura freed himself from the pile of arms and legs that was Yugi Gollum and stood up. "Now, I will destroy it!" . _

"No!!" Five voices screamed as Frodo Bakura walked determinedly towards the Washing Machine tugging Yami-Chicken after him, said chicken trying his best to get loose from the leash and return to the side of Yugi Gollum, who was now sobbing into Malik Brandybuck's leg, who had a hold of Marik Took's hand, whose other hand was currently investigating his… Rod. 

"I DO HAVE A ROD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

***** 

The doorbell rang, waking Ryou. "That was one fucked-up dream," he muttered to himself. Glancing around, he noticed that it was far too quiet in his house since Yami was nowhere to be seen, although the faint sounds of something were coming from upstairs… well, Ryou didn't even want to think about *that*. He was just going to let Malik and Marik do their thing. 

The doorbell rang again and he sighed, dragging himself off the warm, comfy couch to answer the door. He then proceeded to scream when he saw who stood on the other side. 

"Told you that you should have stayed in the car," Kaiba said to Joey, raising an eyebrow at the now rather ruffled Ryou. 

"No, no," Ryou half-gasped. "Seto, *please* tell me that you and Joey haven't taken up tap-dancing in pink tutus." 

"What…" 

"The…" 

Ryou ignored them, continuing, "and you are never, EVER allowed to own a chicken." 

Long pause. "Or a washing machine."

/END


	7. Chapter 7

Missing - 7  
  
***** DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: One of my reviewers said they didn't like yaoi. Well. I didn't say *what* those noises were, now did I? *evil grin* They could have been Marik hitting his head against the wall. Or Malik jumping out the window. no, then that would spoil the rest of the story. Malik has to stay. But for those who *do* like yaoi, then take it however you want it, no pun intended. My personal preference is yaoi, so. Yeah. Onwards.  
  
SUMMARY: Domestic!Bakura, Horny!Yugi and a rather embarrassed Dark Magician. what else can happen?  
  
****  
  
"Yugi. Yugi. Shadow Realm calling Yugi." No response from the boy, although the Dark Magician was looking at Bakura, blue eyes wide, pleading with the spirit to save him from the rather. curious boy. "Yugi, come on. Stop molesting the man."  
  
Yugi finally looked over at the white-haired spirit. "But this is the first chance I've ever had to see him up close!"  
  
"Yeah, well keep doing that to him and it will be the last!" The Dark Magician nodded, taking advantage of Yugi's distraction to step back slightly. "He's not a toy, Yugi," Bakura said, fighting back a laugh at the fact that he - the evil Tomb Robber - was lecturing Yugi on how to treat one of his cards! Yugi pouted and looked like he was about to attack the Dark Magician again, so Bakura did the only thing he could.  
  
He grabbed Yugi and hauled the boy into his lap.  
  
"Don't look at me like that," he said to the Dark Magician, who looked torn between the urge to protect Yugi and the urge to run like hell if Yugi managed to get out of Bakura's arms. "I can let him go, you know."  
  
"Yes!" Yugi shouted, squirming frantically while the Dark Magician shook his head equally frantically. Yugi pouted again when he saw his favorite card's actions and Bakura shook his own head when he realized that the monster's self-control was wavering.  
  
"Don't look at the chibi eyes!" he ordered the mage. "I know how deceptive they can be. Ryou likes to use them on me all the time." The Dark Magician raised an eyebrow, amused, and Bakura glared at him.  
  
"Chibi eyes?" Yugi questioned, turning slightly to face Bakura. "What are those?"  
  
"What you're giving me right now, kid, and they're not working. I've had a lot of practice with Ryou."  
  
The Dark Magician smirked, seemingly more comfortable now that Yugi was contained, more or less.  
  
"Laugh it up, Dark Magician," Bakura said sourly. "You know, my arms are getting a bit tired..."  
  
The Dark Magician backed up ten steps, looking terrified. Yugi pouted (yet again. this boy pouts a lot!) while Bakura laughed.  
  
"The big, bad Dark Magician is scared of a little boy."  
  
The monster glared and if looks could kill, Ryou would be lacking a spirit for his Ring right about now.  
  
"He's a kid, for Ra's sake! It's not like he can hurt you!"  
  
"I can play with him!" Yugi exclaimed, fighting a bit to get out of Bakura's arms. The spirit held tight, however, and Yugi finally leaned back against Bakura's chest, exhausted. "You're strong!"  
  
"I have to be. Ryou's too weak for his own good!"  
  
"But you like him."  
  
Brown eyes glared down into seemingly-innocent violet ones. "No, I do not."  
  
"But when we first."  
  
"You were imagining things." Bakura grinned almost evilly. "It was all just a figment of your imagination."  
  
"I didn't imagine THAT," Yugi started before blinking. Bakura had blanked out for a second, his grip on Yugi lessening. The boy took advantage of the spirit's distraction to jump out of the arms confining him and approaching the Dark Magician, who backed up a step. Bakura suddenly came back to his senses and he grabbed Yugi around the waist, hauling him back into his lap. The Dark Magician looked decidedly relieved and Yugi pouted. Bakura shook his head before glancing at the purple-clad duel monster.  
  
"You haven't taken up tap dancing in a pink tutu recently, have you?" he asked and the Dark Magician blinked before shaking his head. Yugi twisted in Bakura's lap to look the spirit in the face.  
  
"Can I *make* him learn to tap dance in a pink tutu?"  
  
Bakura sighed and gave the Dark Magician a long-suffering look. "Yugi, unless you want the Dark Magician to hate you, I suggest you stop thinking these. evil thoughts, mmkay? Those are for me to think, not for you. You're the innocent little hikari of the big, bad Pharaoh." The Dark Magician grinned at that and Bakura stuck his tongue out at the mage. "I'm the evil one here."  
  
"But I wanna make him tap dance! It will be funny!" Yugi squirmed again and Bakura sweat dropped. Certain parts of him.  
  
"Yami will kill me if he ever finds out about this. After he removes his hikari from around the Dark Magician's waist and gets the man out of therapy!" 


	8. Chapter 8

Missing - 8  
  
***** DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: I keep forgetting about the pairings for this story. Yami'sGirl710 over on mediaminer asked for them sometime around chapter 2 and I never did reveal them! So. it's not really slash (not *yet* anyway!), but if (when!) it was slash, it would probably be Malik/Marik, Ryou/Malik (sorta), and Joey/Kaiba. But since it's not slash. *grins evilly* Although Yugi apparently isn't as innocent as he appears to be.  
  
SUMMARY: Kaiba and Joey show up, and Joey's feeling homicidal (sound like anyone you know, KRIS?). *vbg*  
  
****  
  
"You're never allowed to own a chicken. Or a washing machine."  
  
"WHAT?" Joey and Kaiba said at the same time, pretending not to look at each other when Yami and Ryou looked at them knowingly.  
  
"Just go with it, okay?" Ryou said, shaking his head. "You don't want to know."  
  
"I'm not even going to ask." Kaiba looked faintly amused. "Anyways, where's Yugi? I think he has one of my cards. I lent him one of my Blue Eyes last week."  
  
"One of your Blue Eyes?" Joey interrupted. "You'll give YUGI a Blue Eyes, but you won't give one to me?"  
  
"My dragons don't like little puppies."  
  
Joey glared. "You can just take."  
  
But Kaiba had turned back to Yami and Ryou. "Yugi?" he prompted.  
  
Yami and Ryou looked everywhere but at each other. "Yugi? Yugi. well, he's not here."  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"We don't know," Yami said.  
  
Joey glared at Yami. "You lost Yugi?"  
  
"Bakura took him."  
  
"He did not!" protested Ryou. "Yami, it WASN'T BAKURA'S FAULT!"  
  
"Fine, fine, whatever."  
  
"One of these times, I will get you to believe it."  
  
"Ryou, I know your other half. I put nothing beyond his capabilities."  
  
"I know him better than you and he wouldn't take Yugi!"  
  
"We get the picture," Kaiba interrupted, smoothly pushing Joey between Ryou and Yami. "So, what are you doing to find them?"  
  
Ryou and Yami looked at each other. "Uh."  
  
"You LOST Yugi and now you're not even trying to find him!" Joey screeched, sounding terrifyingly like Tea.  
  
"Shut up, puppy," Kaiba said to him, yanking him back before Joey could do any serious damage to either Ryou or Yami, beyond the damage already done to their eardrums. If spirits of Millennium Items even had eardrums.  
  
"You shut up!" Joey shouted back, wiggling free and glaring at the taller boy. "Yami is supposed to protect Yugi! And now Yugi's missing!"  
  
"I think he's taking this worse than Yami did," came a voice from the stairs. Joey, Kaiba, Ryou and Yami turned to see Malik and Marik standing there, looking slightly amused.  
  
"Maybe we should lock him in the Millennium Puzzle for a few millennia," Marik agreed. "He would probably protect Yugi better."  
  
"I can and will send you to the Shadow Realm," Yami threatened.  
  
"You've tried that threat already," Marik reminded him. "I'm still here, aren't I?"  
  
"Damn it."  
  
Malik came over to stand beside Ryou. "So, what are you planning on doing to find Yugi and Bakura?"  
  
"We can't sense them, so we don't even know where to start," said Ryou, sighing. "And Yami's a little too distracted right now."  
  
Malik glanced over at the livid Pharaoh, currently trying to send Marik to the Shadow Realm by the pure force of his glare. "I see your point."  
  
"Could they be somewhere in Domino?" Kaiba asked reasonably, releasing Joey's shirt and allowing the blond to take a few steps back. "I have people."  
  
"They're not in Domino. Yami and I would be able to feel them."  
  
Joey grinned. "The mind-link-thingy?"  
  
"Mind link thingy?" Ryou repeated. "I guess you can call it that. It is a mental connection, of sorts."  
  
"So they're not HERE," Kaiba started, meaning Domino, "but how are you so sure they're not in the. Shadow Realm?"  
  
Ryou shook his head. "No, Bakura knows his way around the Shadow Realm. He'd be able to find his way back easily enough. And despite his personal feelings towards Yami, I don't think he'd leave Yugi alone there. He does have some sense of self-preservation and facing a furious Yami is not on his list of things to do on any given day."  
  
Kaiba laughed involuntarily. "I don't blame him."  
  
"Is there anywhere we haven't looked?" Yami finally broke in, glancing at Ryou.  
  
The white-haired boy shrugged. "Not that I can think of."  
  
"There's one." Marik sing-songed, grinning at the looks of shock that appeared on Yami and Ryou's faces.  
  
"YOU'VE KNOWN ALL ALONG WHERE BAKURA AND YUGI ARE?" Yami shouted, nearly shaking the foundation of the house itself with the volume of his voice.  
  
Marik laughed, more than a bit insanely. "You didn't ask."  
  
"Where are they?" Ryou and Malik asked at the same time, smiling shyly at each other when they realized what they'd done. Marik, Yami, Joey and Kaiba all collectively rolled their eyes at the same time.  
  
"Just do it already," Kaiba muttered under his breath, earning himself a snort of agreement from Joey.  
  
"Nope, not telling!" Marik laughed. "I won't now that you know I know and I know you know I know!"  
  
The other five exchanged looks.  
  
"Is it bad that I understood that?" Malik asked no-one in particular.  
  
"I did too," Ryou told him. "We both must be insane."  
  
"I AM NOT INSANE!" Marik shouted, looking hurt. "I'm a freaking nutbar, but I'm not insane."  
  
Yami's Sennen Eye glowed in the middle of his forehead. "TELL US WHERE YUGI AND BAKURA ARE," he demanded.  
  
"Eep!" Marik squeaked and disappeared with a flash of light, back into the Millennium Rod at Malik's waist. Yami turned his Eye on Malik.  
  
"Don't look at me," Malik said, waving his hands helplessly. "I take no responsibility for him!"  
  
The Eye faded and Yami sighed. "He's the only one who knows where Bakura are. Can't you coax him back out? I promise not to banish him to the Shadow Realm. Well, at least not until he's told us where they are."  
  
"He heard that and he says he's *really* not coming out now."  
  
"Damn it," Ryou said, hearing Yami mutter an Egyptian curse beside him. "So what do we do now?"  
  
Yami just looked back. "I have no idea."  
  
"Just wonderful." 


	9. Chapter 9

Missing - 9  
  
***** DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: Feel sorry for the Dark Magician. Trust me. Although is this the end of porny!Yugi?  
  
****  
  
"So." Bakura said, fighting a strange urge to bury his nose in Yugi's hair. The spirit idly wondered if Yugi's hair was a soft as it looked before fighting the urge back. Pharaoh would surely kill him if Yugi ever revealed *that*. And Bakura did have some sense of self-preservation.  
  
"I want Yami," Yugi said, sounding very young.  
  
"Yeah, well he isn't here, kid."  
  
"Want Yami." Now Yugi was in a full pout, lower lip trembling as if he was about to cry.  
  
"Come on, you're too old to need a nap!" Bakura sighed. "I had to get stuck with the one most closely resembling a four-year-old."  
  
"HEY!" Yugi shouted. "I DO NOT RESEMBLE A FOUR-YEAR OLD!"  
  
"You did just now."  
  
"I did not!"  
  
"Yes, you did."  
  
"And how would you know? You hate kids! And you haven't been one for a very long time!"  
  
Bakura had no answer for that, deciding a simple, "you still acted like you were four" would have to do. Yugi did have a point. Other than. no, not going there.  
  
"Dark Magician, did I look four a few minutes ago?" Yugi turned to the magician, seeking confirmation that he was, in fact, older than four. The mage shook his head, wanting to keep his Master's approval and nearly losing his grip on the staff in his left hand in the process. Yugi's eyes lit up when they saw the blue object and the Dark Magician inwardly groaned. Although maybe that wouldn't be so bad. keep the kid distracted with the *staff*.  
  
"Anyone home?" Bakura asked, reaching out one arm to poke the Dark Magician, who was still happily daydreaming about distracted hikaris and peaceful Magicians. Blinking, the monster looked back at the spirit and nodded. "Okay, do you have any idea where the fuck we are?"  
  
"You asked him that already," Yugi reminded Bakura. "I don't think the answer will be any different now."  
  
"No, I didn't ask him if he knew where we were. I asked him how he *got* here."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So shut up and let me do the talking."  
  
"You really are evil."  
  
"I told you that already, Yugi. Don't you listen to your elders? I thought that was something you were taught nowadays. Respect!"  
  
"Yeah, well, you don't LOOK older than me. Therefore, I don't respect you." Yugi nodded emphatically, nearly causing Bakura to lose his grip.  
  
"For a shrimp, you're squirmy."  
  
"Squirmy?" Yugi raised an eyebrow. "Where did you learn your English?"  
  
"Same place Ryou did. Why?"  
  
"No reason." Yugi looked incredibly amused. "I've never heard anyone talk the way you two do."  
  
"Is that an insult, Moutu?"  
  
"Take it any way you want it."  
  
The soft sound of a snicker broke up their argument and the two boys looked over at the now-blushing Dark Magician.  
  
"He laughed."  
  
"He was mean."  
  
The Dark Magician gave Bakura a "you wouldn't DARE" look, to which Bakura laughed. Evilly, this time and the Dark Magician was suddenly *very* afraid.  
  
"Don't look at me like that, Magician. I still can let him go."  
  
"Yes!" Yugi cried, hands reaching out to the Dark Magician, widening his eyes into the dreaded chibi eyes.  
  
Bakura shook his head frantically. "DON'T LOOK. You looked."  
  
Yugi smiled smugly from the expanse of his favorite card's arms. "Baka tomb robber. HE likes me."  
  
"Baka magician," Bakura corrected, grinning evilly and sitting back to watch the show he knew was about to start. "Now *you* can deal with him," he said to the card. "And this time I'm not helping you."  
  
"I already looked at his armor." Yugi wiggled until he slid down the magician's body and stood before the man, looking appraisingly up and down before his gaze settled on one particular thing. ".but I didn't look at his staff."  
  
The Dark Magician blanched.  
  
"Can I touch it? Oh, it is as hard as it looks! What else can you use it for? Wait, why am I asking you? You can't talk. Although you did snicker at us earlier."  
  
Bakura and Dark Magician exchanged glances.  
  
Yugi continued exploring the staff, keeping up a random running commentary as he did so. "But. ooooooooh, I like this part of it. All ridged and it feels really nice. I want to keep this. You think he'll let me?" the last comment was directed at Bakura who only shrugged. "Yami'll let me. He likes the Dark Magician almost as much as I do!"  
  
The Dark Magician blinked at that, distracted momentarily and almost allowing Yugi to take the staff.  
  
"Mean Magician! I just want to hold it! It's all hard and ridgy!"  
  
"And he asks where I learned my English," Bakura muttered under his breath.  
  
"Please?" The chibi eyes were back in full force, but this time the mage wasn't falling for them. Dark Magician shook his head, trying to pull his staff out of Yugi's grip. The boy only held on tighter and a tug-of-war ensued. A flash of light - followed by a thud that was apparently Bakura falling over - distracted them and the Dark Magician sneakily shot a spark of magic at Yugi, causing him to glare at the mage before turning to the source of the light.  
  
"MARIK?" 


	10. Chapter 10

Missing - 10  
  
***** DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: Now Ryou and Malik know why Yugi runs like hell when Yami gets mad.  
  
****  
  
"WHERE IS HE?"  
  
Anywhere but the Bakura household was starting to look like a really good place right about now, Ryou decided. When faced with a furious Yami Yugi, the best thing to do would be to run like hell. Unfortunately, Malik didn't have that option as the full force of said fury was turned on him.  
  
"In the Rod!"  
  
"GET HIM OUT. NOW."  
  
"I can't! He won't come!"  
  
"Then go in after him." Yami's voice was cold enough to freeze an ocean. Ryou shivered and hid behind Kaiba while Joey was hid behind the couch.  
  
"I can't, Yami," Malik said, trying vainly to remove Yami's hands from around his neck where they seemed to be permanently welded. "It doesn't work like that. I can't get him out if he doesn't want to come."  
  
"Yami, stop," Kaiba finally broke in, reaching over and pulling the former Pharaoh's hands away, earning himself a fierce glare that he ignored. "Strangling Malik will get you nowhere. We still need him."  
  
Yami swore colorfully in Ancient Egyptian.  
  
"You picked that up from Bakura." Ryou accused, glaring at Yami. "And what you just told Malik to do is a physical impossibility."  
  
"I'll make it possible," Yami muttered.  
  
"Wait, how did you understand that?" Joey got out from behind the couch and looked at Ryou, confused. "You learning new languages on us?"  
  
"The link Bakura and I have works both ways, Joey," explained Ryou. Seeing the blond's confused look, he continued, "Bakura picked up English and Japanese from me, and I picked up the ancient languages from him."  
  
"So how did Yami learn it?"  
  
Ryou shrugged. "Must have been a leak in the link when he got stuck in the Puzzle. I can't see him sitting down to teach Yami Egyptian!"  
  
"He didn't."  
  
"Still confused." Joey blinked, shaking his head.  
  
"I'll explain it to you later, puppy," Kaiba said, grabbing one of Yami's hands as it appeared to inch towards Malik's throat again. "Down, Pharaoh. No killing the hikaris."  
  
"That one doesn't count!" Yami glared at Malik, who 'eeped' and hid behind Ryou. Joey looked at Kaiba, mentally urging the taller boy to somehow fix this mess. Kaiba thought for a second before he grinned almost demonically.  
  
"You touch him again and I'll sing."  
  
"You will not."  
  
"I swear to whatever deity you believe in that I will."  
  
"You. Will. Not! Now hand him over!" Yami reached for Malik's neck again and managed to catch one strand of blond hair before Ryou managed to pry Yami's fingers away and shove the spirit back. "I will get you, Ryou Bakura."  
  
"I warned you," Kaiba said, matching Yami glare for glare and giving Ryou the opportunity to shove Malik into the closet behind him, quickly engaging the lock.  
  
"You will not sing, Seto Kaiba." Yami smiled triumphantly. "You won't embarrass yourself like that in public. Not in front of us."  
  
"No, Yami!" Joey exclaimed, collapsing in a heap on the couch. "Don't challenge."  
  
But it was too late.  
  
"Is that a challenge I hear?" Kaiba asked, smiling back smugly, causing Yami's own smile to falter. "You really should know better than that, Yami. If I win, you don't kill Malik."  
  
"Where IS Malik?" Joey wondered, wincing as Ryou threw a pillow at him to keep him quiet, hitting him in the ribs. "What?"  
  
Yami ignored the other two boys, focusing his attention solely on Kaiba. "And if I win. win whatever game we're playing. What do I get?"  
  
Kaiba pondered that. "Until I think of a better prize, I'll give you one of my Blue Eyes White Dragons."  
  
"But you gave Yugi."  
  
"Yeah, well I like Yugi better than I like you. He gets to see my dragons for free."  
  
"That came out WRONG, Seto," Ryou called, causing the CEO to flush and glare at the white-haired boy.  
  
"Get you mind out of the gutter, Ryou," he returned. "You know what I meant. I swear, you're spending far too much time with your Yami."  
  
"So you just like Yugi then?"  
  
"Ryou, give it up!"  
  
Yami's eyes flashed with some emotion for a brief moment while the two boys bickered before returning to normal. "Done then," he said, drawing Kaiba's attention back to the matters at hand. "Now, what exactly are we doing?"  
  
"You challenged me."  
  
"And?"  
  
But Kaiba wasn't giving any more information, simply disappearing into the kitchen.  
  
"I tried to warn you." Joey sighed and rubbed his sore ribs. "Now you've done it."  
  
"Done what?" Yami blinked, confused.  
  
Ryou abandoned his post at the closet door to sit beside Joey on the couch. "I think I should sit down for this."  
  
"Good idea. This ain't gonna be pretty."  
  
"What's going ON?" Yami stomped one foot on the ground. "I order you to tell me!"  
  
Joey just pointed at the other boy, who had re-entered the living room with a glass of water in hand. "Watch."  
  
Kaiba stood in the middle of the living room, smirked at Yami, took a deep breath, and began.  
  
'I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME, WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY."  
  
"STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yami's scream of terror could be heard in the Shadow Realm. "Now I want to gouge my eyes out. Seto Kaiba, you are *never* allowed to sing again!"  
  
"So I win then." Kaiba smiled smugly. Ryou was hit with a sudden urge to remove the smile from Kaiba's face. "You can't touch Malik."  
  
"Damnit. Baka CEO."  
  
"Baka Pharaoh. Where *is* Malik?"  
  
Ryou went over to the closet and opened the door. "Right here."  
  
"Coming out of the closet on us?" Joey teased, growling when Kaiba smacked him across the back of the head. "What was that for?"  
  
"Baka puppy."  
  
"Ryou," Malik whined, "why did you lock me in the closet? The things I heard in there."  
  
"Like what?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Yamis are evil," was all Malik would say. "I think I'm scarred for life now."  
  
"What did you hear?" demanded Yami. "You talked to your other half. Where is he!"  
  
"In the Rod."  
  
"And will he come out?"  
  
Malik's eyes faded as he mentally checked with his Yami. Eyes clearing, Malik said, "No, he says he's happy in the Rod."  
  
"The happy Millennium Rod? Why am I getting bad thoughts?" Ryou was pelted with pillows for that comment and he shook his head. "Everyone's a critic."  
  
"Yami?" Malik said, sounding confused.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"My Yami says that the Dark Magician turns pretty shades of purple when embarrassed."  
  
Yami frowned. "How the hell would he know that?" 


	11. Chapter 11

Missing - 11  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault. And there *is* a comment in here that is her fault. and she will certainly never tell me things again. She obviously didn't learn the first time!  
  
By the way: /blah/ is Malik talking to Marik. //blah// is Marik talking to Malik.  
  
SUMMARY: Well, Marik has appeared. What now?  
  
****  
  
"MARIK?"  
  
Yugi sat down on the floor of their temporary prison in surprise.  
  
The Dark Magician retrieved his staff before it hit Yugi on the head, not acknowledging the presence of the other spirit.  
  
Bakura's face went white with fury. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, not at all happy to see the blond standing in front of them.  
  
Yugi blinked at Marik, then at Bakura, while the Dark Magician raised his staff threateningly in Marik's direction.  
  
The spirit of the Millennium Rod just smirked at the white-haired spirit. "Visiting, what else would I be doing here? Really, Bakura. I thought you were more intelligent than that! You've been spending too much time with the Pharaoh and his lap dogs, including your own hikari."  
  
"BAKA-" Bakura growled and began to lunge forward before being caught around the waist by a purple staff. The Dark Magician looked warningly at the former tomb robber, who sighed and backed off.  
  
"Where IS here?" Yugi asked, picking himself up off the floor and tucking himself behind the Dark Magician so that only his eyes could be seen beneath one purple-clad arm. Bakura came and stood beside the mage, crossing his arms in anticipation.  
  
/Marik, what's going on?/ Malik's mental voice broke into Marik's thoughts. /You feel. weird./  
  
//I'm torturing a tomb robber,// Marik sent back. //So much more fun than what's going on over there.//  
  
/I wouldn't be so sure of that,/ Malik said, /I don't know what Kaiba's doing to Yami, but it sounds painful!/  
  
//I'm missing Pharaoh-torture!//  
  
/Yeah, well. torture him yourself later. Are you planning on coming out of the Rod?/  
  
//If you suck, it will come.//  
  
/MARIK!/  
  
*evil cackle* //You walked into that one with your eyes wide shut!//  
  
/Damnit./  
  
//Now, go do whatever you were doing.//  
  
/Coming out of the closet. oh did that sound wrong./  
  
//You don't need me to torture you, Malik, you do it all on your own! Now, go let the Pharaoh know that his Dark Magician turns many pretty shades of purple when embarrassed.// Marik faintly felt his other half's confusion at his words but pushed the other out of his mind so he could focus on the trapped trio in front of him, two of whom looked very confused while the third looked disinterested.  
  
"You know more than you're letting on. Explain yourself," Bakura ordered. "Where are we?"  
  
Marik sighed. "Fools. Haven't you figured out yet?" When both Bakura and Yugi gave him blank looks, the blond let out a string of curses in Egyptian that had the Dark Magician blushing. "IDIOTS. I swear to Ra, the Items collect the idiots of the world."  
  
"Stop insulting yourself," Bakura said sarcastically. "Now where the HELL are we?"  
  
Marik held up the Millennium Rod, rolling his eyes. "Duh."  
  
Bakura blinked, the pieces falling into place. "Pharaoh."  
  
"What about Yami?" Yugi shouted, still hiding.  
  
Bakura glared at Yugi's legs, which were the only part of the boy he could see. "The baka Pharaoh tried to do a spell to get me out of the Puzzle."  
  
"We know that already, Bakura."  
  
"Apparently, Pharaoh doesn't know the difference between 'Puzzle' and 'Rod' in the ancient tongue!"  
  
Marik nodded. "So you ended up in here. he did get you out of the Puzzle, though."  
  
"From one hell into another," Bakura shot back. "I think I'd rather be in the Puzzle now that I know where I am!"  
  
"Well, now that you know where we are," Yugi piped up, "can you get us OUT?"  
  
Bakura shook his head. "Doesn't work like that. Unless someone does a re- binding spell on Ryou and the Ring he wears, I'm stuck here. Or wherever else some idiot of a Pharaoh may decide to banish me!"  
  
"Stop insulting Yami! And I'm not stuck here with you, am I? I mean, one minute I was in my soul room and the next, I'm in here with YOU!" The Dark Magician reached a hand behind him to pat Yugi comfortingly on the shoulder.  
  
Marik shrugged when the other three all looked at him. "Hey, don't look at me. I just hold the Rod."  
  
"We all know that," Bakura said, grinning evilly. "You like holding MALIK's rod, don't you?"  
  
Marik sputtered and turned purple.  
  
"Leave him alone," Yugi half-scolded through his laughter. "He's the only one that can get us out of here!"  
  
"Damnit."  
  
"Have you asked him?" Marik asked when he regained the ability to speak.  
  
Two confused expressions. "Asked who?"  
  
The Dark Magician rolled his eyes and Marik grinned. "Why is the Duel Monster the smartest one out of the three of you?"  
  
The identity of Marik's 'he' dawned on Bakura and Yugi just then. "OH!"  
  
"Dark Magician?" Yugi began. "Do you know how to get me out of here?" 


	12. Chapter 12

Missing - 12  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, back to the Bakura household!  
  
****  
  
"Malik? How do you know what colour my Dark Magician turns when he's embarrassed?" Yami demanded, glancing at Kaiba to check if the older boy was watching and finding he was. "You can stop playing guard dog, Kaiba. I won't throttle him. At least, not right this second."  
  
"Good to hear, Yami," Kaiba said smoothly, not moving an inch from Malik's side.  
  
"NOW TELL ME!"  
  
"Um." Malik stammered, backing up a few steps. "Marik told me?"  
  
"AND HOW WOULD MARIK KNOW THIS?"  
  
"I don't know, Yami!" Malik finally yelled, glaring at Yami. "I'm just repeating what I was told!" Sitting beside Ryou on the couch with a heavy sigh, he glanced up at the former Pharaoh. "I told you my yami was evil."  
  
"Are we any closer to figuring out where Yugi and Bakura are?" Joey interrupted in an attempt to distract Yami and Malik from fighting yet again, at the same time dodging Kaiba's hand as it swung towards the back of his head, yet again. "Would you STOP that?"  
  
"The puppy needs discipline." Kaiba tried to look innocent and failed completely.  
  
"Yeah, well, MASTER. Not in public."  
  
Kaiba raised an eyebrow. Ryou giggled. Malik snorted. Yami sat down quickly, fighting back laughter.  
  
Joey turned red. "Okay, you can smack me for that one."  
  
Ryou burst out laughing. Malik *did* fall over, nearly falling off the couch in the process. Yami was clutching his sides and Kaiba had turned faintly pink.  
  
"I'm just gonna shut up now." Joey disappeared into the kitchen, looking very red. After a few minutes, Yami, Ryou and Malik had stopped laughing long enough to look at Kaiba, who was counting ceiling tiles and trying not to think about what Joey had just said.  
  
"Ka-" Ryou started, but was elbowed into silence by Malik. "Where did he go?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
Rolling his eyes, Ryou pointed at the kitchen door. "Joey. You know-- your puppy? The one who needs."  
  
And just like that, Malik, Yami and Ryou were off again.  
  
"All three of you are pricks," Kaiba informed them, leaving the room before he turned any redder, the sound of the trio's laughter following him. Joey was in the kitchen, trying to fit his whole right fist in his mouth.  
  
"Mmmph."  
  
"Would you get that thing out of your mouth! You don't know where it's been!"  
  
Joey just looked at him.  
  
"Well, okay, it's your hand so you probably *do* know where it's been and. Yes. I'm going to shut up now, too."  
  
Joey removed his hand and grinned at the CEO, not used to seeing him ruffled. "Not so high-and-mighty now, are you?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Make me."  
  
Sudden silence from the living room.  
  
"Is it me or is it very quiet in here?" Joey asked.  
  
"Shh!" Kaiba grinned, rolling his eyes when Joey just gave him a confused look. "Just follow my lead, okay?" he said softly, motioning Joey to be quiet as well.  
  
"Whatever, man."  
  
Kaiba looked at the door, grinning like a child. "BAD PUPPY!" he shouted, clapping his hands together loudly to imitate the sound of his hand striking flesh.  
  
Joey giggled under his breath, understanding now what Kaiba was up to. "Oh, Master! That hurt!"  
  
"Does the puppy need more discipline?"  
  
"Yes, please, Master! Harder!"  
  
Kaiba clapped his hands together again, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "You never learn, do you?"  
  
"But I like your lessons, Master! Please, harder! I need this so bad, Master!"  
  
Kaiba sputtered, fighting to keep his mirth down. "Take it like a. like a. well, like a puppy."  
  
And with that, both boys fell over laughing, giving up all pretense of anything going on. The door slammed open and Yami, Ryou and Malik thundered in.  
  
"That was just evil, you two," Yami complained.  
  
"Who was eavesdropping?" Kaiba countered, pulling himself to his feet and glaring at the shorter boy.  
  
"You started it!"  
  
"No, you did.  
  
"YOU DID!"  
  
"YOU DID!"  
  
"You know, Yami," Joey interrupted, using the bottom of Kaiba's jacket to get himself on his feet, "if you spent as much time looking for Yugi and Bakura as you do making trouble and yelling at Kaiba, maybe you'd have found them by now."  
  
Yami stared at Joey, shocked. Ryou stared at Yami, half-smirking. Malik stared at the floor, sneaking glances at Ryou. Kaiba stared at the Millennium Puzzle around Yami's neck.  
  
"You know. the puppy just may have a point."  
  
"OW!" Malik suddenly shrieked, falling to the floor and clutching his neck. "Hurts hurts hurts!"  
  
"What hurts?" Ryou demanded, kneeling next to his friend.  
  
"Owowowowowowow!" Marik howled before his voice was cut off. His mouth opened and closed, rather resembling a fish, as he attempted to get air into his lungs with little success.  
  
"MALIK! What's going on?" But Malik just shook his head, unable to answer as the invisible assailant was still choking him. Finally, Malik seemed to be over his fit and sat up with Ryou's help, coughing.  
  
"Ryou?" he said, voice gravelly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I think I just found your Yami." 


	13. Chapter 13

Missing - 13  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: The Dark Magician is very evil. Did you know that? He is. Almost as evil as Marik and Bakura!  
  
****  
  
"Dark Magician, do you know how to get me out of here?"  
  
The Dark Magician smiled and nodded at Yugi's question.  
  
"And have you known ALL ALONG?" Bakura half-shrieked, sounding scarily like Tea.  
  
The mage nodded again.  
  
"Okay, that's it." Bakura let out a war-cry and launched himself at the monster, barely avoiding getting cracked over the head with said monster's very large purple staff. Yugi jumped out of the way just in time, backing up until he was nearly *in* Marik's own skin. The blond just raised an eyebrow at Yugi while Bakura tried his hardest to strangle the Dark Magician with his bare hands.  
  
"All right, stop, stop," Marik finally said, grabbing a hold of Bakura's hair. "Ryou will have my head if anything happens to Bakura, and Yami will have it again if anything happens to his Dark Magician."  
  
Bakura pouted but allowed himself to be pulled away from the magician, going to stand by Yugi's side, arms crossed over his chest. "When did you plan on telling us you could send HIM back?"  
  
"Him has a name," Yugi reminded Bakura, poking said spirit in the ribs to get his attention.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Did you ask him?" Marik broke in before another fight could break out. "Ra, I'm becoming domestic! I'll need to kill someone when I get back to the normal realm. Or I could eat a squirrel. Three squirrels, even!."  
  
The Dark Magician, Yugi and Bakura all exchanged disgusted looks.  
  
"Marik we didn't really need to hear that," Bakura told the blond.  
  
"Whatever." Marik tapped his foot impatiently. "Just answer my question. Did you ASK the Dark Magician if he could send you back?"  
  
"Not in so many words, no," Yugi finally answered.  
  
"See, the thing with him is that he can't speak. At least, not at the moment. So you have to give him yes-or-no questions."  
  
"Not at the moment?" Yugi's eyes lit up. "There's a way that he can talk?"  
  
"I don't know how to do it," Marik told him. "A spell of some sort and those aren't my." he paused, sifting through his other half's memories for the right word. "Spells aren't my forte."  
  
"They're not the Pharaoh's either!" Bakura cracked, wincing when he did get cracked over the head with the Dark Magician's staff. "Ouch! Try that again and I'll shove that stick so far."  
  
"We get the picture!" Yugi exclaimed, covering his ears. "So, Dark Magician can send me back to the normal realm. Can you send Bakura back, too?"  
  
Dark Magician shook his head.  
  
"What about Marik?"  
  
"I don't need his help to get out," Marik reminded the boy. "I got myself in here in the first place, I can get myself out."  
  
"You'll come out on your own?" Bakura asked slyly, earning himself another thwap from the Dark Magician's staff. Bakura whirled to face the offending mage. "WHY are you so eager to hit me over the head? What, do you think I like punishment or something?" The Dark Magician smiled, more than a little evilly and Bakura swallowed. "Wait, don't answer that. I don't think I want to hear it."  
  
Yugi and Marik swallowed smirks of their own at seeing the former tomb robber so ruffled.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"We didn't say anything!" Yugi blinked his big eyes innocently and Bakura rolled his own eyes.  
  
"Save it for someone who actually falls for the chibi eyes, kid."  
  
Yugi made a rude noise at him before turning back to the Dark Magician. "You can get me out?" At the nod, he laughed. "Will you? Right now?"  
  
Bakura's mouth dropped open. "You'd leave ME alone with HIM?" He pointed at Marik, who grabbed at the finger and went to lick the palm of the hand it was attached to, but Bakura managed to get his hand loose before that happened. "You're sick, Marik."  
  
The blond snorted. "Like you're any better, Bakura."  
  
"Dark Magician? Please?" Yugi looked up at the mage, eyes pleading and the man sighed. Chibi eyes worked on HIM. He held out a hand and Yugi took it excitedly, ignoring the black look Bakura gave him. "Yami! I'll see Yami again!"  
  
"We haven't been gone that long, Yugi." Bakura's voice trailed off and he looked at Marik. "Have we?"  
  
"Couple of hours. You haven't missed anything major. Except the Pharaoh trying to kill my light and Ryou shoving him in a closet to save his worthless little life. Oh, and Seto Kaiba singing."  
  
"Seto SANG?" Yugi gasped, doubling over in laughter. "Man, I'm sorry I missed that!"  
  
"Why did Yami try and kill Malik?" Bakura wondered.  
  
"Because Malik knows where I am and where you are, but won't tell the Pharaoh."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I told him not to. I've always known you three were in here! I just chose to ignore you for a while."  
  
"So we could have been OUT of here AGES ago?" Bakura growled, eyes narrowing into little slits. Marik gulped and backed up a step, not quickly enough as Bakura leapt for his throat. "I ought to kill you for that!"  
  
"STOP!" Yugi shouted, moving aside so the Dark Magician could pull the two boys apart. "Bakura, don't kill Marik!"  
  
"Give me ONE reason."  
  
"Because Malik will never forgive you?"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Yami will never forgive you?"  
  
Bakura shrugged. "If he were here, he'd probably help me!"  
  
"Ryou won't forgive you?"  
  
"Third time's the charm," Marik croaked out as Bakura's hands loosened around his throat.  
  
"This isn't settled." Bakura allowed the Dark Magician to pull him off Marik, glaring at the blond the whole time. "I will find some way to punish you."  
  
"Promises, promises." Marik wiggled his eyebrows at Bakura and the white- haired boy sighed. "Don't start things like this with me, Bakura, you will not win."  
  
"I'm starting to realize that. Yugi, are you leaving, or are you waiting for the Pharaoh to come give you an invitation to rejoin the world of the living?"  
  
Yugi looked at him a bit uncertainly, ignoring the hand the Dark Magician held out to him. "Well."  
  
"Just go already." Bakura looked at Marik. "You don't really want to be stuck here with HIM now do you?"  
  
"When I tell Yami and Ryou what happened, they'll know how to fix it," Yugi promised, taking the Dark Magician's outstretched hand. "You'll be out soon, too."  
  
"I'm not holding my breath," muttered Bakura, watching dispassionately as the Dark Magician pulled himself and Yugi out of the Millennium Rod, leaving Bakura and Marik alone in the darkness that descended after their exit.  
  
"Now, my pretty little tomb robber," Marik's voice said as a hand fell on Bakura's shoulder, "we're alone. And you're all mine!" 


	14. Chapter 14

Missing - 14  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: Well. now that we know where Yugi and Bakura are, now what?  
  
****  
  
"I think I just found your yami, Ryou."  
  
"What do you mean, you found my yami?" Ryou demanded, eyes boring into Malik's own. "How do you know?"  
  
"Because." Malik sighed and sat up, still rubbing his throat. "Because your yami just tried to strangle mine."  
  
"What?" Chorused four voices at once. "How is that possible?"  
  
Malik held up the Millennium Rod, rolling his eyes in a manner very much like his own yami.  
  
"Explain yourself!" Yami shouted at the blond, fingers rising before Kaiba grabbed him around the waist and hauled him backwards. "LET GO!"  
  
"Down, Pharaoh. No killing Malik."  
  
"Bastard."  
  
"Stop talking about yourself."  
  
"Hello!" Ryou said, waving his hands in front of Yami's face. "Malik? Rod?"  
  
Joey snickered against his will. "Is that an invitation, Ryou? Who would have thought you had it in you!"  
  
"Shut up!" Ryou turned his glare on Joey, who shrugged it off with a careless gesture.  
  
Yami laughed, breaking up the tension in the room. "Yes, let's hear what Malik has to say about his Rod." Yami wiggled his eyebrows, sending Joey and Ryou into giggles while Malik turned scarlet. Even Kaiba smiled, still holding Yami against his body, earning a few raised eyebrows from the other boys.  
  
Malik pouted. "Leave me alone! I won't tell you anything if you keep being mean to me."  
  
"Okay, okay, I'll behave-"  
  
"That's a first," Kaiba said, releasing Yami and stepping back to join Joey against the wall.  
  
"Shut up, Kaiba."  
  
"Just making an observation."  
  
"Keep them to yourself, okay?"  
  
"Whatever you say, Pharaoh."  
  
"Malik, come on, tell us," Ryou finally said, giving both Yami and Kaiba a black glare. "How do you know that it was Bakura who tried to kill Marik just now?"  
  
Malik sighed. "They've been arguing for the last few minutes in my head. I can hear them loud and CLEAR." The tone of the last word was directed internally as well as externally, although Marik gave no sign of having heard him.  
  
Ryou's mouth dropped open. "Wait a minute! You mean to tell me that Bakura's IN THE ROD?"  
  
"Is Yugi with him?" Yami broke in, voice unnaturally high.  
  
Malik's eyes unfocused before he was back. "Yes."  
  
"They're okay?" That was Joey.  
  
Malik nodded. "A little confused, but they're both fine. My yami is. keeping them company for the moment."  
  
"Why does that scare me?"  
  
"Well, given the fact that Bakura just tried to kill Marik." Malik's voice trailed off and he smiled a little. "Marik probably deserved it, but it still hurt like the devil. Apparently, he hasn't figured out the hurt-the- yami-hurt-the-hikari principle."  
  
"So." Joey said, "what now? I mean, now that we know where they are, can we get them out?"  
  
Malik blushed.  
  
"What did I say?"  
  
"Oh." Malik looked at the wall behind Joey's shoulder. "Just thinking of something Marik told me. He said, 'if you suck, it will come.'"  
  
Ryou, Kaiba, Yami and Joey all laughed hysterically, clutching their sides. "That's rich!" "I'll have to remember that one." "Only Marik!"  
  
Malik opened his mouth to say something else, but never got the chance. The Rod flashed with a sudden light just then that had Malik squeaking in surprise and hurling it against the nearest wall. When the light dimmed, two figures could be made out - one tall and slender, clad in loose-fitting purple pants and a matching shirt, the other small with spiky hair, wearing black leather, much like his yami.  
  
"YUGI!" Yami almost screamed, bounding across the room and pulling the boy into a fierce hug. "I have you back!"  
  
"Yami!" Yugi exclaimed back, face turning red from lack of oxygen. "Let go! Need air!"  
  
The tall man took a step back from Yami and Yugi, a smile coming over his face as he watched them before his gaze turned to Ryou, who looked a little melancholy at the fact his yami wasn't with Yugi.  
  
"Where's Bakura?" the white-haired boy finally asked, turning to Malik. "Why didn't he emerge with Yugi?"  
  
Malik shook his head. "I don't know. it wasn't me that even got Yugi out."  
  
"If not you, then." Ryou's voice trailed off and he studied the other occupant of the room. "Who are you?"  
  
"Ryou!" Yugi said, finally wriggling out of Yami's arms and going to the side of the man. "It's okay! He tried to get Bakura out, but he couldn't. Bakura said something about a re-binding spell on the Ring."  
  
Ryou's face fell. "So I don't get my yami back?"  
  
"Not yet." Yugi looked sympathetic before turning back to Yami and throwing himself back into the spirit's arms. "YAMI!"  
  
Caught off balance, Yami stumbled and fell on his back at the feet of the strange man, who had yet to speak a word. Looking up into the blue eyes of the man above him, Yami suddenly realized who the man *was*.  
  
"DARK MAGICIAN?" 


	15. Chapter 15

Missing - 15  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: Marik, Bakura, and a Rod. Wonder what happens next?  
  
****  
  
"We're alone now and you're all mine!"  
  
"Get your hands off of me, you blond freak," Bakura snapped, pushing Marik's arm away. "Look, but don't touch."  
  
"Come now, Bakura... is that any way to talk to me?"  
  
"I can talk to you however I damn well please."  
  
"Even if that means you'll be stuck in here forever?"  
  
Bakura blinked. "What?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
Bakura's voice was dark with fury, but Marik didn't even bat an eyelash. "You mean you know a way of getting me out of here without using that re- binding spell?"  
  
"May-be," Marik sing-songed, carelessly cleaning under his fingernails with the dagger end of the Millennium Rod. "But if you're mean to me again, I won't tell you if I do."  
  
"Fine, fine, I'll be nice." Bakura nearly choked on the word. "Now what do you want?"  
  
"You know what I want, my dear Bakura."  
  
"You can't be serious."  
  
Marik just smiled and sheathed the Rod in his pants (now didn't THAT sound wrong?), losing all semblance of insanity. "When am I not? You, of all people, should know me better than that."  
  
"I am not... doing that... with you! Not here."  
  
"Do you really have a choice?"  
  
"Guess not." Bakura eyed Marik a little nervously. "You'd really make me do this?"  
  
"Do you want out of the Rod or not?"  
  
Bakura smiled a little wryly. "Maybe if Malik..."  
  
"You leave my light out of this," Marik snapped, raising his arm threateningly. "If you're not ready in thirty seconds, I'm leaving you here. You know I have the power to send you to the Shadow Realm for good, and you also know that I have no qualms about doing so."  
  
"Oh, big word." Bakura mocked as he removed his shirt. "Qualms... you've been spending time with Ryou."  
  
"Yes, speaking of lights..." Marik leered. "I wonder what yours would say if he saw this?"  
  
"You leave HIM out of this." Bakura tossed his shoe at Marik's head, narrowly missing the blond. "Ground rule: You leave Ryou alone, I leave Malik alone. Agreed?"  
  
Marik shrugged, unconcerned. "Whatever. I'm getting what I want out of the deal in the end, so what does it matter what we decide in between?"  
  
"So if I do this... thing."  
  
"Say it."  
  
"No."  
  
"Say it or I won't help you."  
  
"I just don't understand why I have to be naked while you do this." The other shoe came off, followed by the pants. Marik's eyes gleamed while Bakura stood before him in only boxers. "I am not taking these off."  
  
"Do it."  
  
"No."  
  
"Then I leave you here." Marik began to fade and Bakura let out a cry that he just *knew* he would be taunted about later. But he hated the dark, and he hated being left alone even more.  
  
"NO! Okay, okay, I'll do it. Just please don't leave me alone in here." He was begging and he didn't really care. He *hated* the Shadow Realm - spending 5,000 years there was enough torture for one life. Or one afterlife, whichever he was currently... living.  
  
"Off with the boxers, Bakura... you know our deal."  
  
"You're evil."  
  
"Your point being?"  
  
"I'm supposed to be the evil one," Bakura grumbled, throwing his discarded boxers in Marik's general direction, "so you're making me look bad."  
  
"Whatever. Just shut up and come here."  
  
Wordlessly, Bakura obeyed, closing his eyes when he felt the first touch of Marik's hands on his now-bare skin. Fabric whispered around his legs and something cold encircled his arms, and still he refused to open his eyes. Finally, Marik stepped away, satisfied whatever he'd done to Bakura.  
  
"You can open your eyes, you know. I won't touch you."  
  
Bakura opened his eyes, meeting Marik's lavender ones before glancing down at himself. "How..."  
  
"My soul room. I can make anything happen," Marik said simply. "Now stand still."  
  
"But I look like..."  
  
"Like an Ancient Egyptian, yes, I know." The blond smiled. "I like you when you look like this."  
  
"You like me all the time, Marik. You've just been looking for an excuse to make me dress up like an idiot."  
  
"Don't insult the way you used to dress. Now, fix your armband and STAND STILL."  
  
"Yes, Master Marik," Bakura said sarcastically, groaning when an artist's easel appeared out of nowhere. "Painting? Marik, since when you do PAINT?"  
  
"Since now so shut up and let me work. The quieter you are, the faster you get out of here."  
  
"Oh, incentive."  
  
"Bakura!"  
  
"Sorry." Bakura shut his mouth and tried not to think of how stupid he looked. And felt. Marik had been after him for weeks to 'play dress-up' but Bakura had always managed to halt his advances. Even the best had to be caught sometime, it appeared. The time Bakura spent modeling was broken only by soft commands from Marik to turn this way or that way. Finally, he appeared to be done and Bakura breathed a sigh of relief. Now he could get back into his normal clothes!  
  
"Get dressed," Marik commanded, eyeing his finished product with an uncertain eye. "I have what I need from you."  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
"Blackmail!" Cackling, Marik made the painting disappear before Bakura could even get a look at it. "Now, a promise is a promise..."  
  
"Get me out of here. Immediately."  
  
"I am a man of my word."  
  
"No, you're not, but get on with it."  
  
"Patience is a virtue."  
  
"Not right NOW it isn't!"  
  
"Fine." Marik rolled his eyes and held up his Millennium Rod. "I make good on my promises, Bakura. Next stop, Ryou's bedroom!"  
  
The dark world began to fade-if that was even possible-and Bakura let out a shriek. "MARIK!" 


	16. Chapter 16

Missing - 16  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: Yugi is back. Yami is happy. Ryou is sad. This does not look good.  
  
****  
  
"DARK MAGICIAN?"  
  
The tall man nodded and bowed slightly in Yami's direction. Yugi laughed and gave the Duel Monster a hug around his waist.  
  
"Isn't he cool? Can I keep him, Yami? Can I?"  
  
Yami and the Dark Magician exchanged looks. "He's not a possession, Yugi. Why don't you ask him if he'll stay?"  
  
Yugi bounced a little on the balls of his feet. "Will you? Stay, I mean?"  
  
The Dark Magician nodded, gazing around at the other occupants of the room. Ryou gave Malik a hand up and the two boys stood staring in astonishment at the monster come to life. Joey was hiding *behind* Kaiba while the CEO just stood there, looking half surprised, half amused.  
  
"Thank you! See, Yami, I TOLD you he was cool." Yugi let go of the mage's waist and flung himself at Yami again. "Wait 'till I tell you everything else I learned about him!"  
  
The Dark Magician blanched and shot Yami a pleading look.  
  
"Aibou, why don't you tell me later? We need to think about how we're going to get Bakura out of the Rod."  
  
The mage nodded emphatically at Yami's words, going over and picking up the Millennium Rod from where it lay against the wall.  
  
"He said something about a re-binding spell."  
  
"Who, Bakura?" Kaiba said, finally finding his voice.  
  
Yugi nodded. "I'm not exactly sure what that means. Maybe ask the Dark Magician?"  
  
The Duel Monster in question ignored the two duelists and handed the Millennium Rod to Malik, then sat on the couch and looked expectantly at the others.  
  
"Dark Magician?" Yami began. "What do you know about all this?"  
  
"He can't talk," Yugi said, "although Marik said there's a spell that can make him."  
  
"Spell?" Yami's ears perked up and Ryou groaned.  
  
"No, Yami. No more spells from you today! You're the one who got Bakura and Yugi banished in the first place!"  
  
"I did not!"  
  
"Yes, you did."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"NO."  
  
"Actually, Yami, you did," Yugi interjected. "You were trying to remove Bakura from the Puzzle, right?"  
  
"Yes... I know the fighting he and I were doing was driving you mad."  
  
"Well, apparently you got 'Puzzle' and 'Rod' mixed up when you were speaking the spell. That's why we ended up in the Rod."  
  
"Really? I got the spell *that* wrong?" Four sets of eyes met his own and Yami sighed. "Alright, it was my fault after all."  
  
"HE ADMITS IT!" Ryou shrieked, nearly shattering the windows with the sheer volume of it. "Yami admits he was wrong!"  
  
"Shut up, Ryou... I swear, if I didn't know better I'd swear it was your other out here and YOU in there."  
  
"Guess he's rubbing off on me," Ryou grinned. "Anyways, now that we have established that it was, in fact, YOUR fault and not Bakura's, what are we going to do?"  
  
Ryou looked at Yami, who looked at Kaiba, who looked at Joey, who looked at Malik, who looked at Yugi, who looked at the Dark Magician, who was studying the ceiling.  
  
"Anyone? Any ideas at all?"  
  
"I vote we find a spell to make the Dark Magician talk," Malik offered. "Then maybe he can tell us how to get Bakura out of the Rod."  
  
"Why not just repeat the spell Yami recited earlier?" Joey suggested. "I mean, it can't hurt..."  
  
"No way am I letting Yami near a spell book!" Yugi shouted. "I'll go kiss Pegasus first! And he's dead!"  
  
"We have a necrophiliac in the crowd."  
  
"Now there's an image."  
  
"Shut up, Kaiba. Shut up, Joey."  
  
"I was only trying to help."  
  
"Well, you're not. Either one of you." Yugi glared at Joey and Kaiba, who looked about to say something else before he was interrupted.  
  
"ANYWAYS," Ryou broke in. "Spells?"  
  
"I'm good at spells," said Malik softly. "And I can read hieroglyphics. Marik made me learn."  
  
"Can he do the spell?" Yugi asked the Dark Magician. The said monster smiled and nodded, pulling a large book out of thin air and handing it to the blond boy. "That was a neat trick."  
  
"Can you read it?" Ryou asked Malik, sitting down next to the other. "Can you get Bakura back for me?"  
  
"I think so. The spell seems pretty basic." Malik silently mouthed the words to himself, trying to get his tongue around the unfamiliar language. "I just hope I'm pronouncing it right."  
  
"Why don't you read it aloud?" Joey suggested. "He-" pointing at the Dark Magician - "can tell you if you're right."  
  
"If I read it, I'll be casting it, Joey," Malik reminded the other blond. "And I don't want to cast it if I'm not sure."  
  
"Take your time," came Yami's advice, staring at the Dark Magician. "Not all of us are as eager as Ryou to see Bakura again."  
  
"YAMI!" shouted Yugi, slapping his other half on the arm. "Be nice!"  
  
Ryou snorted. "For him, that was nice."  
  
"People, please be quiet!" Malik called, looking up from the book. "Ryou, I think I'm almost ready to do this. The spell is easy enough." The blond glanced over the book one more time. "Okay, I think I have it."  
  
Ryou laughed out loud. "Praise Ra!"  
  
Malik, too, laughed before his face screwed up in concentration. " Although..."  
  
Yami looked up. "Although what?"  
  
"I'm not sure that's really necessary now."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It's quiet."  
  
"Quiet?"  
  
"In my head... Marik and Bakura were fighting just a few minutes ago and now they're silent. I wonder who killed who."  
  
Ryou choked. "Killed?"  
  
"Why else would they have stopped?" Malik asked sensibly. "Hang on." Closing his eyes, he reached out to his other, but only silence greeted him. Frowning, Malik tried harder and only received the same result. "That's weird. I can't even reach Marik through our link."  
  
"So now Marik's gone, too?"  
  
Ryou let out a cry of despair. "Wonderful!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Ryou." Malik closed the spell book and gave it back to the Dark Magician. "I don't think I need this anymore."  
  
"So, now what?"  
  
Everyone looked at Ryou who just sighed. "I don't know. I guess all we can do is wait and see if Marik or Bakura shows up here."  
  
"I hate waiting."  
  
"Shut UP, Joey." Five voices chorused while the sixth one just glared. "You're not helping."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Now, Yugi," Yami finally said. "What were you going to tell me about the Dark Magician?" 


	17. Chapter 17

Missing - 17  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: Marik has a dirty mind.  
  
****  
  
"Next stop, Ryou's bedroom!"  
  
"MARIK!" Bakura shouted, reaching out to slap the other boy. "That was not funny."  
  
"I thought it was."  
  
"Where are we?" the former tomb robber demanded, looking around the room they'd landed in. It looked like a bedroom, but it wasn't Ryou's. "TELL ME!" He tackled Marik to the carpet, pinning the smaller boy beneath him.  
  
"A bedroom." Marik squirmed slightly.  
  
"No shit, Sherlock!"  
  
"I'm Marik." The blond seemed genuinely confused and Bakura rolled his eyes.  
  
"It's an expression, idiot."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"WHOSE bedroom are we in? It doesn't look like Ryou's."  
  
"So you have been in Ryou's room!" Marik wiggled his eyebrows. "Do tell, do tell."  
  
"Sicko!" Bakura exclaimed, rolling off Marik in disgust. "I am not telling you about my hikari's bedroom!"  
  
"Spoilsport. Anyways, we are back where we started."  
  
"We are?"  
  
"Listen." Marik held up a hand and Bakura listened. Faintly below he could hear voices. One sounded suspiciously like...  
  
"PHARAOH!" Bakura hissed under his breath. "So we are back. Yami and Yugi were over visiting when you pulled this little stunt."  
  
Marik smirked and buffed his nails on his cloak. "Told you so."  
  
"So you were right. For once."  
  
The other spirit raised an eyebrow. "Now, what will you give me?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I brought you back, didn't I? So you owe me."  
  
"YOU are the one who... OH!" Bakura tackled Marik again, harder this time, and they landed in a heavy heap on the floor, knocking over a few lamps as they wrestled. The voices from downstairs suddenly silenced and then the sound of feet pounding up the stairs could be heard.  
  
"Bakura..." Marik choked out, fighting to remove Bakura's hands from around his neck. "Stairs!"  
  
"Shut up, you little..." Bakura's voice trailed off as he, too, heard the footsteps. "Now look what you've done!" He released Marik just as the door flew open.  
  
"BAKURA! MARIK!" Ryou nearly screamed, stopping dead in the doorway. Yugi, Yami, Malik, Kaiba and Joey all ran into the back of him as he stood in shock. "You're back!"  
  
"Marik, what is going on?" Malik asked his darker half, pushing gently past Ryou. "And why is Bakura on you?"  
  
The two spirits looked at each other.  
  
"Does he really want you to answer that?" Bakura mused.  
  
"Well, I guess he just wants us to say it."  
  
"Oh, ew," was Yami's response. "Please keep the details to yourselves!"  
  
Bakura glared. "Shut up, Pharaoh."  
  
"ANYWAYS." Marik glared at the white-haired spirit. "If you really must know, Ryou, your other was trying to kill me," he said, sitting up and displacing Bakura. "But I am too good and I managed to save myself!"  
  
Bakura snorted. "No, I only stopped because I heard Ryou coming up the stairs."  
  
"What. How. Bakura! Where. When?"  
  
"Ryou, take a deep breath," Yami encouraged, guiding the white-haired boy over to the bed. "Breathe!"  
  
A streak of blond, gold and red flew at Bakura. "BAKURA!" Yugi exclaimed, wrapping himself around Bakura's waist. "You're okay!"  
  
"No thanks to HIM." Giving Marik a dirty look. "But yes, I'm fine."  
  
"Come on, puppy," Kaiba suddenly said from the doorway. "They're bonding. Let's go... bond someplace else."  
  
"Okay!" Joey eagerly followed Kaiba downstairs, calling his farewells as he went. And then there were six.  
  
Yugi unwrapped himself from Bakura's waist. "How... I thought..."  
  
Bakura shrugged. "Marik managed it somehow."  
  
"Then why didn't you go straight back into the Ring?" Yami asked.  
  
Bakura shrugged again. "I don't know. I haven't tried returning to the Ring yet. Have YOU tried going back into the Puzzle?"  
  
"I wasn't the one that came out of the Rod."  
  
"Pharaoh."  
  
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. I'm just going to go back downstairs, now, okay? At least the Dark Magician won't give me a hard time!"  
  
Bakura and Yugi choked, earning strange looks from Malik, Ryou, Yami, and Marik.  
  
"No, he's just..."  
  
"Don't even FINISH that sentence, boy," Bakura threatened Yugi. "You already caused that Dark Magician of yours enough mental anguish to land him in therapy for years!"  
  
Yami blinked. "Excuse me?"  
  
"I played with the Dark Magician's staff," Yugi said simply. Yami fell over. "Yami? What?"  
  
"Leaving! Now! Bye!" Yami ran downstairs, nearly falling down the last four steps. "Don't you say a word!" they heard him yell at someone before the back door slammed. Malik and Ryou turned back to Yugi and Bakura.  
  
"What just happened?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Long story." Bakura glared at Marik again. "How did you get him in there with us?"  
  
"Wasn't me!" Marik tried to look innocent and failed completely. "Not my fault!"  
  
"AHEM!" Ryou poked Bakura in the chest. "Explain where you have BEEN!"  
  
"In the Rod!" Bakura half-shouted, taking a step back. "What has gotten into you?"  
  
"Maybe he needs..."  
  
"DO NOT EVEN GO THERE MARIK ISHTAR!" Bakura tackled Marik, yet again, and Ryou exchanged an exasperated look with Malik. They pulled their darks apart, shoving them into opposite corners of the room.  
  
"Now, explain!" Ryou ordered. "And it had better be good." Malik handed Ryou his Millennium Rod, the dagger part extended. Bakura's eyes gleamed at the pretty pointy thing before it dawned on him that said pretty pointy thing was pointing at HIM.  
  
"Ryou..."  
  
"Start talking!"  
  
Taking a deep breath, Bakura did. 


	18. Chapter 18

Missing - 18  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: Explanations are given and the end draws near. Finally! I think only one (maybe two) chapters are left after this one.  
  
****  
  
Ryou brandished the borrowed Millennium Rod. "Start talking! Now!"  
  
"Ryou..." Bakura began. "I don't know where to start."  
  
"Well, how did you get out of the Puzzle?" Malik asked, grabbing Ryou's shirt before the white-haired boy could attack Bakura with the Rod.  
  
"The spell Pharaoh chanted. He got everything except the destination right."  
  
"Have you tried going back into the Ring?" asked Yugi. Bakura shook his head. "Well, try."  
  
"Nope," Bakura said after a moment, sweat trailing down his face. "The Ring is closed to me. Although I can sense something from Ryou's mind...very faint emotion." Ryou handed the Millennium Rod back to Malik before sitting down on the bed, his forehead wrinkled in concentration.  
  
"Hang on, let me try going into the Puzzle." Yugi turned to the open door. "YAMI!"  
  
"What?" came the shout back upstairs.  
  
"I'm going to try something. If I can make it into the Puzzle, yell up here to Ryou, Bakura, Marik and Malik, okay?"  
  
"Go ahead!" There was a faint glow and Yugi disappeared. "Got him!"  
  
"Why didn't Yugi just talk to Yami through their mind-link?" Bakura wondered out loud. Ryou shrugged. "Eh, whatever."  
  
"So Yugi can return, and Marik can obviously go into the Rod, but Bakura's stuck," Malik summarized quickly. "We need to figure out how to get him back into the Ring."  
  
Yugi re-appeared. "I can go into the Puzzle, if you couldn't tell."  
  
"So how do I get back into my Millennium item?" Bakura asked plaintively. "Anyone have a crowbar?"  
  
"Wait!" Ryou suddenly had a brainstorm. "Where's the book Yami got the original spell from?" A book materialized helpfully out of mid-air and the white-haired boy smiled. "Thank you, Dark Magician!" he shouted down the stairs. He tossed the book to Malik. "Find the spell for me, please?"  
  
"Yes, sir," Malik teased, scanning the book before his eyes settled on one. "Think I found it. Maybe we should move this downstairs."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I need room, and I want to do this with...help. In the room."  
  
"No," Bakura said, sitting on the bed beside his hikari. "You are not doing a spell. I've had enough of spells for one day!"  
  
"Well, the Dark Magician can't do it!" Malik said reasonably. "And I am not letting Yami - or, for that matter, any of you! - near a spell book." That last part was said pointedly to Bakura and Marik, who both blinked innocently. "Now, move it!" He shoved his dark half out of the room, watching Ryou do the same to Bakura while Yugi brought up the rear.  
  
The five of them found Yami sitting on the couch beside the Dark Magician, who was playing with the television remote.  
  
"He doesn't get out much," Yami said when he caught sight of the group. Yugi started laughing and Yami shook his head. "I'm not normally this stupid! You did something to me." He glared at Bakura, who hid behind Ryou.  
  
"Get over yourself," Marik said firmly. "You're just an idiot. Accept it."  
  
"Marik!" Malik shouted, shocked. "Be nice to Yami Yugi!"  
  
Bakura snorted. "For him, that was nice."  
  
"True. Still. Marik, behave or I will have Yami Yugi banish you again."  
  
"Yes, Malik," the spirit said almost submissively.  
  
"Now, Yami, is this the spell you read before?" Malik showed Yami the book and the former Pharaoh nodded. "Okay then. Bakura, I think I figured out how to do this."  
  
"Do tell."  
  
"Well, if all Yami did was get the destination wrong, then Bakura should be bound to the Rod, right?"  
  
"I follow."  
  
"So we just do another spell, this time sending you back in to the Ring!" Malik sounded very proud of himself. "Logical, no?"  
  
"It actually makes sense," Bakura said slowly. "Can you read the spell?"  
  
Malik nodded. "Yeah, it's one of the more basic spells." He looked at Marik. "And to think I never believed you when you told me it would be worth it to learn your language!"  
  
Marik laughed. "Told you so."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, just get on with it," Bakura said. "But if you screw this up, Malik Ishtar, I WILL banish you to the Shadow Realm to spend eternity with a Tea clone!"  
  
"Even you aren't that cruel!" Yami piped up from the couch, where he was currently fighting a losing battle with Yugi to retain his shirt. "Yugi, stop!"  
  
"Spoilsport," Yugi pouted. "Hey, Dark Magician - can I see your staff for a sec?" Bakura choked and Yugi gave him a dirty look. "Pervert!" The Dark Magician smiled and handed over the staff. Yugi proceeded to bonk Yami over the head with it before turning it on Bakura. "Give me one good reason..." The Dark Magician quickly grabbed the staff back, handing Yugi the television remote in return. Yugi grinned and flipped the channel to music videos while Yami attempted to straighten his shirt.  
  
"Children!" Ryou called. "Please." Yugi sat back against Yami's chest, playing with the buckles on his shirt. Bakura came to stand beside his lighter half. "Malik, will you do the spell? At this point, it's worth a try."  
  
"Sure." Malik sat down on the floor with the book in his lap. "Bakura, come sit with me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Ryou, you too. And it's because I need to touch you for this."  
  
"Pharaoh didn't."  
  
"Yeah, well, he got the spell wrong, didn't he?" Malik grabbed Bakura's left hand. Ryou sat down and took Malik's free hand, joining his own free hand with Bakura's right so that the three formed a circle of sorts. "Now, Dark Magician, if I screw this up, let me know, okay?"  
  
The mage nodded.  
  
"Here we go." Taking a deep breath, Malik began the spell, slowly reading the lines of the book. There was a flash and Bakura disappeared.  
  
"Oh, fuck," said Malik.  
  
"Not again," Yami exclaimed, standing up so abruptly he knocked Yugi off his lap.  
  
"NO!" Ryou screamed.  
  
The Dark Magician, as always, was silent, smiling a secret little smile. 


	19. Chapter 19

Missing - 19  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: And now/the end is near/and so I face/the final curtain...  
  
****  
  
"Oh, fuck," said Malik.  
  
"Not again," Yami exclaimed, standing up so abruptly he knocked Yugi off his lap.  
  
"NO!" Ryou screamed.  
  
The Dark Magician, as always, was silent, smiling a secret little smile.  
  
"What happened?" Ryou yelled at Malik. "He's gone! Again!"  
  
"I said the spell!" Malik protested, hiding behind his dark. "I said the spell right! The Dark Magician didn't stop me!"  
  
Yami frowned. "Are you sure you got the words all right?"  
  
All five - Yami, Malik, Marik, Ryou and Yugi - looked over at the Dark Magician, who just stood up from his spot on the couch and shrugged. "Were you even LISTENING?" Malik growled at the monster.  
  
Ryou growled at Malik. "Get. Him. BACK!"  
  
"Meep!"  
  
The Dark Magician reached forward, gently touching the Ring around Ryou's neck. Ryou impatiently batted the mage's hand away. "Don't touch."  
  
"Wait, Ryou..." Marik said. "What if the spell worked?"  
  
"Say what?"  
  
"The Ring, idiot! Is Bakura in the Ring?"  
  
Ryou concentrated, allowing his conscious mind to search the depths of the Millennium Ring for Bakura. "I can't... I can't feel him."  
  
Marik sighed. "Well, he's not back in the Rod, I can tell you that."  
  
"Or the Puzzle," Yugi said, giving Yami a glare. "Remind me to beat you later?"  
  
"Sorry, aibou."  
  
The Dark Magician again reached for the Ring and this time, Ryou let him. The mage settled both hands on the Ring, closing his eyes. Ryou felt something from the Ring - a surge of power and then suddenly his link with Bakura was wide open again.  
  
"BAKURA!" Ryou shouted, both aloud and through the link. "You're back!"  
  
//Ryou!// came the response. //What happened?//  
  
/You tell me! Malik was doing the spell and all of a sudden you disappeared./  
  
//Remind me to kill Malik and Marik slowly and painfully later?//  
  
/Why?/  
  
//For giving me this infernal headache! Too much magic in one day can really fuck with a person's mind.//  
  
Ryou laughed out loud, earning himself a puzzled look from four of the five present. "Sorry, guys... I, um, found Bakura."  
  
"Where?" Yugi asked.  
  
"The Ring." Ryou glanced at the Dark Magician, who took a step back to stand beside Malik. "What did you do?" The mage smiled mysteriously and waved his staff. "Ah, 'magic' right?" Another smile was his only answer. "You, know, I really wish you could talk. That would make life so much easier, instead of always having to ask yes or no questions."  
  
Yugi sighed. "I know. I kept forgetting when he was in the Rod with us."  
  
"Frustrating," Ryou said. "Anyways, Bakura is back in the Ring, which was the intention all along."  
  
"Just took a while," said Bakura, pulling himself out of the Ring with a flash of light. "Ow, I forgot how much that hurts."  
  
"What hurts?"  
  
"Having your spirit sealed into an Item." Bakura massaged the back of his neck. "Advice for you, Ryou: Don't do it."  
  
"I promise," Ryou said with a laugh. "So everyone is back where they should be?" Nods all around. "And everyone is in one piece?" Marik and Bakura exchanged looks, but again there were nods all around. "And everyone is HAPPY NOW?"  
  
Bakura held up a hand. "I'm not a happy person. So that doesn't apply to me."  
  
"You will be happy if I have to force a happy pill down your throat," Ryou said sweetly, glaring at his yami. Bakura put his other hand up in surrender. "So we are all happy, comfortable and here. Finally!"  
  
"What a day," agreed Yami, sitting down again and pulling Yugi into his lap. Yugi happily curled into his dark's chest, nuzzling his neck. Malik and Marik sat on the floor against the wall while Ryou and Bakura looked at each other before striking up a mental conversation about the day's events.  
  
"What now?" Marik asked, idly tracing a design on Malik's knee.  
  
"Sleep?" suggested Yugi, closing his eyes and curling up tighter to Yami. "Sleep is good."  
  
Ryou frowned. "Something isn't adding up here."  
  
"What do you mean?" Bakura asked, but Ryou shook his head. "Ryou?"  
  
Said hikari looked at Marik. "Marik, what's the Egyptian word for Rod?" Marik gave him a strange look, but gave it to him. "Did you hear the spell Yami cast before this... all happened?" Marik nodded. "What did he say?"  
  
Marik's eyes widened in realization. "Ring."  
  
"Did you use magic at all today? Other than going to bug Bakura and Yugi?"  
  
"No," Marik said, shaking his head. "And Malik didn't either."  
  
"Do you mean to tell me it's not my fault after all?" Yami said hopefully, looking up from playing with Yugi's hair.  
  
"And not my doing."  
  
"So it's the tomb robber's fault after all?"  
  
"SHUT UP!" Bakura bellowed, to which Yami replied with an oh-so-delicate middle finger, causing Yugi to open his eyes and giggle. "It's not my fault!"  
  
"Well, it isn't mine!"  
  
"It had to be someone with knowledge of Shadow Magic," Marik said, exchanging looks with Ryou, Bakura and Yami. "So if Yami, Ryou, Malik, Yugi, Bakura and I didn't do it, then who did?"  
  
All six turned to face the final occupant of the room.  
  
"DARK MAGICIAN?" they said as one voice.  
  
The monster blinked innocently, ignoring the sudden appearance of horns from his hat. "Wasn't me."  
  
And then before Yugi could fall over in shock, before Yami could catch his precious aibou, before Bakura could become homicidal, before Ryou could throw his hands up in the air, before Malik could drop the book he was still holding and before Marik could start laughing hysterically, the Dark Magician gave a wink and a sly smile.  
  
Then disappeared. 


	20. Epilogue

Missing - Epilogue  
  
*****  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. The only things I own are Dark Magician and Malik toys. /end boring legal junk  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I swear I'm 12. I write YGO fic now. That's what I get from watching anime. *very big grin* This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her. It's all Kris' fault.  
  
SUMMARY: In which explanations are given and evilness is discussed.  
  
****  
  
Six figures appeared in the Shadow Realm.  
  
"You made it," came a soft voice from the darkness. As one, the six turned to face the new arrival.  
  
"YOU CAN TALK!" Yugi yelled at his favourite monster.  
  
Bakura threw his hands in the air. "Why did you not tell us this?"  
  
The mage shrugged.  
  
"What did you do to us?" demanded Yugi, glaring fiercely at the mage. "Here we've been blaming Yami!"  
  
"Yeah!" Yami exclaimed.  
  
"Shut up," came six voices at him.  
  
The mage shrugged again.  
  
"Why?" Ryou wanted to know. "Why would you do this?"  
  
The Dark Magician studied his staff. "Got bored. Got tired of the fighting." He pointed at Yami. "I feel what he feels, and he was going insane. So I took matters into my own hands."  
  
Ryou grabbed Bakura's shirt before the spirit could leap at the monster.  
  
"And to think I kept Yugi away from you!" Bakura shouted, straining against Ryou's hold. "I HELPED YOU!"  
  
The Dark Magician gave him a half-smile. "I didn't mean for Yugi to get caught in my spell, but at least it provided some amusement."  
  
"Why the Rod?" asked Malik. "Why not just send them to the Shadow Realm?"  
  
"He-" pointing at Bakura now "-has been there and done that. And it was amusing to watch Marik when he realized he had... visitors in the Rod."  
  
Yami shook his head. "Not my fault!"  
  
"Not your fault," Yugi told him with a sigh. "Now will you please shut up about it and help Ryou hold Bakura back? He's gonna kill the Dark Magician!"  
  
"Bakura, heel," Yami said to his fellow spirit, grabbing a hold of an arm. "Don't kill him. It's messy."  
  
"He deserves it for what he did to me! Trapping me with... with... MARIK!"  
  
"Hey!" The platinum-haired spirit glared at the white-haired spirit. "I got you out!"  
  
"Whatever, Marik." Bakura turned back to the Dark Magician. "You are evil. Do you know this?"  
  
The Dark Magician gave him a look. "I'm a *dark* monster. I'm supposed to be evil!"  
  
"But you're my favourite card!" said Yami almost plaintively. "My cards aren't supposed to be evil!"  
  
The Dark Magician shrugged. "Sorry?"  
  
"Why pick on Bakura, though?" Ryou wondered.  
  
"I'm a shadow monster. I have to do something to pass the time!" Bakura growled menacingly and the Dark Magician gave him a wicked smile. "You're fun to torture, tomb robber." With that, he disappeared yet again.  
  
"If I see him again, he's dead," muttered Bakura. Marik nodded, surprising everyone by pulling the former tomb robber into a kiss.  
  
"I'll help," he volunteered after the two had come up for air. Bakura grinned and pulled Marik into the normal realm.  
  
"Ryou, don't wait up!" he called as they were disappearing.  
  
"Did you see that coming?" Ryou said to Malik, who shook his head.  
  
"But if they can do it..." the Egyptian boy gave Ryou a shy look.  
  
Ryou took his hand. "Well, we'll just have to find something to do while they're busy," he said softly before the two boys followed their darks into the normal realm. Yami and Yugi remained in the Shadow Realm for a moment t talk.  
  
Yugi turned to look at his dark. "Yami?"  
  
"Yes, aibou?"  
  
"I think I need to find a new favourite monster." 


End file.
